Friday, August 19, 2016

OLYMPICS: What happens when that French hurdler dude who false-started has to go back to France and tell people about what happ'd?

Nice head. 

This past Tuesday (or Monday, or it could've been Sunday, I dunno, I can't be held responsible for remembering these types of things), French hurdler Wilhem Belocian false-started in the opening heat of the 110-meter hurdles and was immediately disqualified from the eventending his Olympics experience before it even started.

If you didn't see Wilhelm's gaff, you can watch the clip here. Or you can just skip it entirely. Doesn't matter to me what you do. I already got your pageview, and in the world of #blogging, that's all that counts.  

But poor, poor Wilhelm. It was so sad. And pathetic. And he knew he screwed up the second he heard that buzzer, proceeding to flarf around in a haze of disbelief, with his hands on his head, wondering how he let that happen. Then, as he made his way off the track, he just crumbled to the ground, crying and slamming his fists in frustration. Embarrassed, ashamed, with no one to blame but himself.


Pageviews.R.E.A.M. 

Wilhelm's false start epitomized that whole ABC Wide World of Sports agony of defeat thing perfectly. You know, when that ski jumper wiped out and plummeted 50 feet to his death. But this was worse. because at least that guy died. Wilhelm now has to go back to France and explain himself to his idiot friends and family.

SOME DUDE WILHELM WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH WHO NOW HANGS OUT AT THE 7-11 IN DOWNTOWN LYON: Wilhelm? That you?

WILHELM: Nope. My name is Claude. Claude Giroux.

SOME DUDE: Yoooooooo, Wilhelm! What's poppin' mon ami? It's me, Carl! Carl DeLafleuve!

WILHELM: Oh, hey Carl.

SOME DUDE: Yo, didn't I see you in the news recently?

WILHELM: All right, Carl. Catch ya later my man.

SOME DUDE: Yes. Yes! You were in the Olympics!

WILHELM: Great seeing you, Carl! Hit me up on LinkedIn, aight?!

SOME DUDE: That is so cool, man. That is just so, so cool. The motherfreakin' Olympics! Pole vault, right? I don't know how you guys do that, just run down the track and then BOING.

WILHELM: Hurdles actually.

SOME DUDE: Yes! Hurdles. That's right. Run and jump. Run and jump. Dude, that must be exhilarating.

WILHELM: Yeah, I'm gonna walk out of this store now, Carl.

SOME DUDE: I remember in high school you were ALL ABOUT IT. Like, with the training. Constantly, with the training. I remember asking you to come out with us and you were always like, "Sorry, bro. I gotta wake up at 4am to train."

WILHELM: It was 5:30, but ...

SOME DUDE: And we were like, "DUDE. We got these Dominican chicks lookin to wile out."

WILHELM: I'm an early riser in general, soooo, 5. 5:30. Anywhere in the 5 o'clock hour really.

SOME DUDE: I slept with four women that night!

WILHELM: I sleep in a hyperbolic chamber.  

SOME DUDE: You'd always be eating that broccoli, too. So much broccoli. What'd we used to call you? Broccoli Boy?

WILHELM: It was asparagus.

SOME DUDE: BROCOLLI BOYYYYYYYYYY!!!

WILHELM: Yep.

SOME DUDE: I always doubted you man. But you showed me. Wow. The Olympics. How'd you end up doing in Rio by the way?

WILHELM: What are you doing these days, Carl? Still selling life insurance?

SOME DUDE: Baguettes. Baguettes and pastries. But who cares about me, man? You raced at the Olympics! What's it like? How's it feel to RACE? To be out there, in the blocks, nervous as hell, knowing you worked your whole life for this moment. And then BOOM! Off with the wind.

WILHELM: That's a very good question, actually.

SOME DUDE: You get that medal, dawg? You get that medal? How'd you finish up?

WILHELM: Well, it's not about how you finish, is it?

SOME DUDE: Good point. Good point. It's about the COMPETITION. It's about leaving everything you have out on that track. About the sacrifice. The determination. And just running -- and jumping! lol, can't forget about the jumping!

WILHELM: Sometimes you can forget about the jumping.

SOME DUDE: Hahahaha, yeah. Fuck the jumping! 

WILHELM: So Carl, you don't know where I can get a shotgun around here, do you?

SOME DUDE: "HERE COMES WILHELM! FLYIN DOWN THE TRACK!"

WILHELM: To blow my brains out. That's why I want to get a shotgun. To blow my brains out all over this parking lot. 

SOME DUDE: Aw man. Great seeing you, Wil. I know you're modest as hell, but I'm gonna go home now and pull your race up on YouTube. 

WILHELM: I mean there has to be a shotgun store around here somewhere. 

SOME DUDE: Wait, I can probably just watch it right now on my phone! 

WILHELM: Wellllllllll, probably best on an actual computer. Bigger screen. No buffering. 

SOME DUDE: No no no, I'll pull it up right now. 

WILHELM: I FALSE-STARTED, OK?!

(silence)

WILHELM: I jumped the gun! I got disqualified. 

(more silence)

WILHELM: I didn't even get to race. I did nothing. 

(sounds of little French birds chirping in the background)

WILHELM: I literally didn't do anything. I took a plane ride to Rio. Walked around for a little. And then flew back.

(so many birds)

SOME DUDE: Damn.

(cheep cheep cheep)

SOME DUDE: You wanna go fuck some Dominican chicks with me?

WILHELM: Ugh, I can't. I chopped my dick off immediately after the race. 

SOME DUDE: You can borrow one of my extra dicks. I'll give you a loaner. 

WILHELM: GR8!







12 comments:

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    Replies
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  9. Thank you for your miracle Doctor Osemu Okpamen

    This article is dedicated to the Doctor Osemu Okpamen. I have been married with my wife for 5 years and recently she broke up with me and it hurt me deeply when she told me to leave her alone and that she does not love me anymore when i was always faithful and honest to her. I tried all the ways to get her back buying her what she wants like i always did and she still left me heart broken and she even has a new boyfriend which destroyed me even more until a friend of mine from high school directed me to this genuine spell Doctor called Osemu Okpamen. This man changed my life completely. I followed everything he told me to do and my wife came back begging for me back. I was stunned everything happened exactly like he told me. I had faith in everything he told me and everything was true. Also he was there every moment until i got my happiness back and he also provides spells that cures impotence, bareness, diseases such as HIV/AID E.T.C You can contact him via email at { Doctorokpamenspelltemple@yahoo.com } or visit his website http://www.doctorokpamenspells.com. He will help you in anything you need and quick to answer once you contact him.

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  10. One of the easiest decision I have ever made was when I accepted to get married to a man I thought was my soul mate, my lover for 2years. He was the most handsome and honest man I have ever encountered, he was so kind, respectful to me and my entire family. He gave me the reason to spend my entire life with him. I enjoyed 3years of love and sweet romance as his wife before the devil came into our home, his ex-girlfriend worked voodoo on him, she made him show me the bad side of him and also caused our divorce. The most annoying part was when she tried to take my life spiritually and physically, fighting to ensure am thoroughly erased from my husband before she takes over. It was getting tensed till the extent that I couldn't sleep both day and night because she must be there to trouble me.
    To cut the story short, I used the only available options left which was to seek help from outside, i contact 3 different spell casters who fraud me before i came across Dr. Ken of {supersolutionhome1@gmail.com or supersolutionhom@yahoo.com}. Dr. Ken was the last option because every other sources failed and his love spell worked wonders after 3days which saw the evil lady flee from us with immediate effect, the divorce case was reconciled within days as well.
    Since after the spell, I finally knew how to treat wicked and jealous people and a whole new lot of things from Dr. Ken. Happiness and joy has been in abundance in my family for the past 8months after the love spell. Thanks to Dr. Ken’s love spell that works wonders. Here's his email address: supersolutionhome1@gmail.com or supersolutionhom@yahoo.com His website: supersolutionhome.webs.com also his phone number is +2348074433380.

    ReplyDelete
  11. After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr Zuma zuk and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com or call him +2349055637784 you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS'

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