Tuesday, January 5, 2016

The Bach: Oh We Back on That Again

RIP Red Velvs.

Before we discuss the fact that a woman brought a horse into a house, we need to talk about the ridiculous outdoor furniture that they have at the Bachelor mansion.

I mean, couches? They have outdoor couches? I didn't even know they made outdoor couches -- with like, cushions and shit. Is it normal for a homeowner in Southern California to keep couches OUT-SIDE of their home? Because that's just preposterous on sooooo many levels.

Here in Philly, my outdoor furniture consists of two mildew-stained camping chairs that swallow you whole the second you sit down -- and a disgusting orange milk crate. And you know what? It's perfect! Because spending time outside is stupid. Between the freezing cold winters, mosquito-filled summers and my shithead 8-year-old neighbor Brendan, I can't remember the last time I spent more than seven straight minutes outside. The other day I was raking leaves and Brendan came up to me and was like "GIMME FIVE, ELVAN" and I was like, "You have so much cream cheese in your braces how do you have that much cream cheese in there," and he was like "Too slow!" and I was like "I didn't even try to slap your hand" and he was like "Your beard looks like shit!" and I was like "IT'S IN THE IN BETWEEN STAGE."

Ugh, no one likes that kid. Not my wife. Not the girls who live next door. Not even his own stepmother. I know this because when Brendan and his family moved in a few months ago she introduced herself to me as his "stepmother" which is code for "I need you to understand that this kid is NOT my biological son and I HATE him." Anyway, fuck Brendan, fuck being outside and wow I sure am taking advantage of being able to curse on my own blog as opposed to all that clean shit I gotta write for those prudes over at The 700 Levvy, aren't I?

But enough about me and my diarrhea-filled mouth, I guess we have to talk about the actual show, don't we?
Comfortable for ohhhhhhh, I dunno, 18 seconds?

The most amazing thing about that lady bringing a horse into a house was not that she brought a horse into a house, it was the fact that she was worried that the horse might barf all over the carpets. Ummmm, lady, clearly there's no carpeting inside the Bachelor mansion. It's hardwood and stone tile only! No wonder she got sent home the first night. Also her name was Maegan!

As far as the other chicks: we've seen it all before, Lace. You're not that special. (Although that whole "Look at me. Look at me. I'm the captain now" shit was straight bonks.) The local news anchor? Whatevs. Super hot chick bores nation to sleep! More at 11! Even though you'll be asleep by 9:30!

And then there's the Bach himself. Besides the fact that he's a white person, Ben does seem to have some likable qualities. He played football and basketball in high school, has a decent sense of humes and his teeth really did look in tip top shape. Although to tell you the truth, he seems a litttttttttttttttle too attached to his parents, which in my book (which is not real, because I have literally never read or owned a book) is a red flag. I mean, if a guy can talk to his mother on the phone without mouthing the words "fuck you" over and over again as she's talking, something's seriously wrong with him.

I mean, look, Ben means well, but he's got a few things to learn if he wants to become a bonafide Bach extraordinaire. There are some basic ground rules that all Bach'es should follow: keep the ripping sluts around, get rid of the total snoozes and never waste your time with a disgusting virgin. 

For examp, any chick who falls into any one of these three categories needs to be sent home IMMEDIATELY if not sooner.

- Any woman who refers to somewhere as her "happy place" (just like Lauren did, talking about the beach). I once went out to dinner with a chick who told me that Martha's Vineyard was her "soul space." The date lasted around 16 more seconds and 15 of those seconds were just me screaming at the top of my lungs.

- Any woman who works as a Software Sales Rep (like Caila, the lady from Boston with the absolutely horrible kitten heeled shoes WITH THE STRAPS?!). I mean, how boring of a person do you have to be to go into software sales? What is software sales? Ugh, I don't even care. Those shoes. 

- Any woman who says her kids are the "most amazing kids" (like Amanda, the very sexy mother of two who is "ready to start dating again" on a nationally televised game show. It's not that her kids aren't amazing. Maybe they are. But most likely they're just normal stupid kids who only eat chicken fings. The "most amazing kids" are the ones who can breakdance and/or fart all over other kids' faces.


Oh, Mesnick.

On the other hand, if a woman checks any of these boxes, marry her as soon as possible.

- A black chick (especially if she knows how to shoot a gun, like Jubilee, the hottest chick who has ever been on this show and that is a #FACT).

- A redhead (especially one who refers to herself as Red Velvs despite having low self esteem and VERY milky skin). 

- A foreign person (like Shushanna, who is DEFINITELY into hardcore choking/spitting/spelunking).

- Literally any woman with a working vagina.

Unfortunately, Ben failed miserably on his first night, keeping the virgj and sending the milk of magnesia home.

It's like he's never watched the show before.

What a lucky, lucky dude.






Well, there you have it, the Bach -- and TVMWMWMMMWWMWMW -- is back. Ugh, I wonder how long this will last. Next Monday is the College Football National Championship Game, so maybe I'll watch that instead? Ugh, who am I kidding? We both know I have zero control over my remote control. See you next week. 

53 comments:

  1. how come the driveway is always soaking wet on the first night??? im not asking for a response, because i know what it's going to be from you. im just making a statement that happens to end in a question mark.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugh, c'mon Turbo, that was SO 2011. I even wrote about it back then!

      "Lots to discuss this week including the emergence of a clear cut villain (Michelle), more daddy issues (everybody) and the wettest driveway in the history of television. Seriously, did anyone notice that driveway? DRIPPING WET! I just checked the weather trend in LA Fitness for the last seven days and the temperatures were 83, 79, 82, 79, 75, 70, 65, with NO PRECIPITATION. Granted, this show was probably filmed months ago, but still, even if it did rain, wouldn't the driveway dry up during the day with temperatures in the mid-80's?! It's to the point where I spend most of the show looking for a hose. I'm gonna find you hose! I'm gonna find you!"

      Delete
    2. Lots of streets/driveways are wet down for filming. During day shots, it somewhat darkens them which allows you to see the actors better. For night shots, you get nice looking reflections instead of dull diffuse reflections.

      You'll see it in tons of TV shows and movies - watch any episode of Gilmore Girls and Stars Hollow streets are constantly wet even when sunny.

      Delete
    3. Thanks, Don! You seem cool!

      Delete
    4. ha! You and I both know that's not true...

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  2. The cursing takes these to another level tell Enrico to lighten up

    ReplyDelete
  3. Glad this blog is back!

    ReplyDelete
  4. My life became devastated when my husband sent me packing, after 8 years that we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to make my husband take me back. One day at work, i was absent minded not knowing that my boss was calling me, so he sat and asked me what its was all about i told him and he smiled and said that it was not a problem. I never understand what he meant by it wasn't a problem getting my husband back, he said he used a spell to get his wife back when she left him for another man and now they are together till date and at first i was shocked hearing such thing from my boss. He gave me an email address of the great spell caster who helped him get his wife back, i never believed this would work but i had no choice that to get in contact with the spell caster which i did, and he requested for my information and that of my husband to enable him cast the spell and i sent him the details, but after two days, my mom called me that my husband came pleading that he wants me back, i never believed it because it was just like a dream and i had to rush down to my mothers place and to my greatest surprise, my husband was kneeling before me pleading for forgiveness that he wants me and the kid back home, then i gave Happy a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world, that he will never leave my sight. Now me and my husband is back together again and has started doing pleasant things he hasn't done before, he makes me happy and do what he is suppose to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind, kindly contact Happy for help and you can reach him via email: happylovespell2@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. My life became devastated when my husband sent me packing, after 8 years that we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to make my husband take me back. One day at work, i was absent minded not knowing that my boss was calling me, so he sat and asked me what its was all about i told him and he smiled and said that it was not a problem. I never understand what he meant by it wasn't a problem getting my husband back, he said he used a spell to get his wife back when she left him for another man and now they are together till date and at first i was shocked hearing such thing from my boss. He gave me an email address of the great spell caster who helped him get his wife back, i never believed this would work but i had no choice that to get in contact with the spell caster which i did, and he requested for my information and that of my husband to enable him cast the spell and i sent him the details, but after two days, my mom called me that my husband came pleading that he wants me back, i never believed it because it was just like a dream and i had to rush down to my mothers place and to my greatest surprise, my husband was kneeling before me pleading for forgiveness that he wants me and the kid back home, then i gave Happy a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world, that he will never leave my sight. Now me and my husband is back together again and has started doing pleasant things he hasn't done before, he makes me happy and do what he is suppose to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind, kindly contact Happy for help and you can reach him via email: happylovespell2@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. My Name is Leon Adrian. I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the love site cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 3 weeks to our weeding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her Facebook and she changed her Facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..i lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 2 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too,This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him on this e-mail; happylovespell2@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi friends! am christina borris i want to share a live testimony on how Dr Ewan was able to bring my husband back to me, myself and my husband were on a serious breakup, even before then we were always quarreling fighting and doing different ungodly My husband packed his things out of the house and we had to live in different area, despite all this i was looking for a way to re_unite with my husband, not until i met Dr Ewan the great spell caster who was able to bring my husband back home, and he assured me that my husband will come back to me within 48hours hours after he has finish the preparation of the love am very glade today to tell the world that Doctor Ewan is truly a man of his word because my husband came back to me and we settled our differences my family is back again and we are happy living fine and healthy, with Dr Ewan all my dream came through in re_uniting my marriage, friends in case you need the help of Dr Ewan kindly mail him on( covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com) or call him on +2347052958531, Sir i will forever recommend you!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. HOW TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
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    ReplyDelete

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    ReplyDelete
  10. Best Spell Caster Reviwes
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    ReplyDelete
  11. Today has being the most happiest day of my life after 1 year of sadness and sorrow without being with the one i love, i tried all my possible best to make sure i make my lover happy but it never seems to work out well it was like am doing everything in vain but all thanks to Lord Alika for coming to change all my worries and sadness to Joy. i knew the great man when i read some wonderful reviews about Lord Alika how he has helped a lots of people on there relationship problem i was reading a magazine which then i saw great testimonies as well which then i decided not to waste time.he told me not to worry that he assures me that within 48 hours everything would be sorted out i believed Lord Alika so much because i believe he can't fail me and i sent him all my details. Truly Lord Alika never failed me,my husband who left me for good a year come back to me. My husband and i have been living contentedly since this spell caster reunited us together with his love spells. Thank you so so so much Lord Alika for your powerful spells. expressions are not sufficient to say thank you. here is his email address lordalikaspelltemple@yahoo.co.uk or http://lordalikaspelltemp8.wix.com/http call him +19206246318

    ReplyDelete
  12. How to Save Your Marriage And Stop Divorce
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    ReplyDelete
  13. My life became devastated when my husband sent me packing, after 17 years that we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to make my husband take me back. One day at work, i was absent minded not knowing that my boss was calling me, so he sat and asked me what its was all about i told him and he smiled and said that it was not a problem. I never understand what he meant by it wasn't a problem getting my husband back, he said he used a spell to get his wife back when she left him for another man and now they are together till date and at first i was shocked hearing such thing from my boss. He gave me an email address of the great spell caster who helped him get his wife back, i never believed this would work but i had no choice than to get in contact with the spell caster which i did, and he requested for my information and that of my husband to enable him cast the spell and i sent him the details, but after two days, my mom called me that my husband came pleading that he wants me back, i never believed it because it was just like a dream and i had to rush down to my mothers place and to my greatest surprise, my husband was kneeling before me pleading for forgiveness that he wants me and the kid back home, then i gave mike a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world, that he will never leave my sight. Now me and my husband is back together again and has started doing pleasant things he hasn't done before, he makes me happy and do what he is suppose to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind, kindly contact doctor prince for help and you can reach him via his email at dr.princearataabraham@gmail.com you can also whatsapp him or call him at +2348163241499.

    ReplyDelete
  14. DR Ekpiku herbal medicine is a good remedy for Brain Tumor cure
    I was cured recently by one man from Africa Dr Ekpiku,A friend introduced me to him i contacted him, and he treat me an cured my Brain Tumor cancer permanently, It's still a surprised to me because all hope was gone, so i decided to testify his goodness to everyone, So if you have any diseases like this, ACNE/HIV/ CANCER/ HEPATITIS C VIRUS/HERPES VIRUS/GENITAL WART/ ALS/ COPD, or any diseases he can cure it and is a humble and truthful man. You can write Dr Ekpiku through mail: ekpikuspellhomeofgrace@gmail.com or ekpikuspellhomeofgrace@hotmail.com or call him with his telephone number +2348073673757.

    ReplyDelete

  15. Hello I am Brenda, I'm out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex lover back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another woman last month, But when i meet a friend that introduce me to prophet Williams the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to prophet Williams about how my ex husband left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company. He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i needed to do,After it was been done,In the next 48 hours ,My husband called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my husband returned home ,I was called for an interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the manager..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact prophet Williams at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on email: prophetwilliamsspiritualtemple@gmail.com
    and get your problems solve like me..... ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: prophetwilliamsspiritualtemple@gmail.com . and you can call him on +2349029587438 that is his Whats App number too THANKS..

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hello everyone my name is Jessica Hiltom, This is the most wonderful thing i have ever experience and i need to share this great testimony... I just want to say thanks to Dr.OGUKU for taking time to help me cast the spell that brings back my ex lover{now husband},who suddenly lost interest in me after six month of engagement,but today we are married with one kid and we are more happier than never before,i was truly flabbergasted and shocked when my ex lover Ryan down begging for forgiveness and for me to accept him back.. I am really short of words and joyful, and i don't know how much to convey my appreciation to you Dr.OGUKU you are a God sent to restore broken relationship.he deeply enjoy helping people achieve their desires, find true love,getting their ex lovers back,stop abusive relationships,find success,attract happiness,find soul mates and more,contact him today. and let him show you the wonders and amazement of his Love Spell System. He deliver results at his best in real spell casting,email drogukusolutionhome@gmail.com or call him on +2348119020294.//

    ReplyDelete
  17. After getting such a huge result from Dr Ogudugu i then discovered that there no other spell caster that is as powerful as Dr Ogudugu. Few days ago i was not on my usual self because my lover left me after 16 months in a relationship, But my problem was solved as soon as i contacted Dr Ogudugu through these details http://greatdrogudugusolutiontemple.webs.com or email: GREATOGUDUGU@GMAIL.COM So instead sitting down doing nothing about your broken relationship why not contact Dr Ogudugu through the details above.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hello I am from UK,I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex boyfriend back.I was going crazy when my boyfriend left me for another Girl last month, But when i met a friend i told her what is going on in my relationship. And she introduced me to Dr Magana the great messenger to the healing home, I now contact his email.maganasolutioncentre@gmail.com I narrated my problem to him about how my ex boyfriend left me and i also needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect. He told me what i need to do and i did it, And after 24 hours later as he said,My Ex Boyfriend called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and one week after my Boyfriend called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in a very big company here in UK were i needed to work as the managing director. And after that will now get married .I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact email.maganasolutioncentre@gmail.com. and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve.

    ReplyDelete
  19. My name is Wilson Jenni from ontario, canada, I am really pleased

    with this service. I am one of those people who said, “I’ll never call

    a psychic or a magician or whatever” to help me with my problems –

    least of all my love problems and court case, but I reached the point

    where I knew I needed some guidance, and I’m so glad I found this

    man called dr. Gregor. I never in a million years would have thought

    I’d be writing a letter like this, but when I nearly lost to Davis in one

    of our stupid court cases after he broke up with me, I thought I had

    lost everything.i cry all day and think that he will never come back

    to me again and i will loose the case. I read a testimony by a man

    called Taylor Borg about how dr. Gregor helped him to get a win in a

    court case concerning divorce settlement against his adulterous

    wife and how life have been very favourable to him through the help

    of dr. Gregor. Below is his website if you will like to know more.
    Website:
    http://drgregorspiritualt.wixsite.com/mysite

    Email Him on:
    drgregorspiritualtemple@yahoo.com

    or via whatsapp +2349061538925

    ReplyDelete
  20. My FiancĂ© was really quiet and looked angry toward me when he came back from the office He seemed moody and don’t care about dinner, he even canceled our plans because of huge pressure from his family members. After taking some misleading advises from some of his family members. We have been dating for more than 3 years and planning our future together. He said it’s over, when I asked what was wrong, he was very angry and wanted me out of his sight. A good friend of mine who knows about our broke up introduce me to a love spell caster who helped him with a spell that brought back his girlfriend. I thought that the idea of a love spell was strange, but was willing to give it a try. When I contacted Dr. ezomo for the first time I was scared but he assured me that he only uses white magic which is safe and has no side effects. I felt a little better and decided to do the return lover spell. Within 4 days after the spell is cast he showed up at my office, he said that he missed me and he wants us to be together again. Am so happy and I want to say a big thanks to Dr. ezomo for his wonderful work We are back together and our relationship has been better the second time. You can contact via his email address: drezomospellhome@hotmail.com or contact him through whatsapp +2349055406117 or contact me ;edwardkimberly24@gmail.com for more information about dr ezomo.

    ReplyDelete
  21. My Name is rosna ,i am From Canada .I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Prophet Osula has just done for me,this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell,I was married to this man Muller we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email,then you won't believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost husband back,and after a month I miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl,thank you once again the great Prophet Osula for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems contact the great spell cast email:ayelalashrine@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dr Ero herbal cure is 100% Guarantee percent sure to cure your HEPATITIS B,He is only person that i can boldly say he can cure any types of Disease.i was having HEPATITIS B for more than 5 year when i met Dr Ero online how on how he has cured so many people and how greatly he has helped many individuals online,so i contacted him and explained my situation to him and behold i was cure with his herbal medicine and now we are living happily, so to anyone issue on herpes challenges i advised that you contact dreroherbaltreatment@gmail.com he can also cure any disease such as HIV/AIDS HEPATITIS B,DIABETICS,CANCER,HERPES HE is the great herbalist man called Dr.Ero i must say a big thanks for curing my disease, i owe you in return. Thanks and be blessed sir.his Mobil number +2349077338035

    ReplyDelete
  23. Thank you for your miracle Doctor Osemu Okpamen

    This article is dedicated to the Doctor Osemu Okpamen. I have been married with my wife for 5 years and recently she broke up with me and it hurt me deeply when she told me to leave her alone and that she does not love me anymore when i was always faithful and honest to her. I tried all the ways to get her back buying her what she wants like i always did and she still left me heart broken and she even has a new boyfriend which destroyed me even more until a friend of mine from high school directed me to this genuine spell Doctor called Osemu Okpamen. This man changed my life completely. I followed everything he told me to do and my wife came back begging for me back. I was stunned everything happened exactly like he told me. I had faith in everything he told me and everything was true. Also he was there every moment until i got my happiness back and he also provides spells that cures impotence, bareness, diseases such as HIV/AID E.T.C You can contact him via email at { Doctorokpamenspelltemple@yahoo.com } or visit his website http://www.doctorokpamenspells.com. He will help you in anything you need and quick to answer once you contact him or call me for more info +1 (914)-517-3229...

    ReplyDelete
  24. My name is Joy Lopes, I never thought I will smile again, My husband left me with two kids for one year, All effort to bring him back failed I thought I'm not going to see him again not until I met a lady called Jesse who told me about a spell caster called Dr.Miracle, She gave me his email address and mobile number and I contacted him and he assured me that within 48 hours my husband will come back to me, In less than 48 hours my husband came back started begging for forgiveness saying it is the devils work, so I'm still surprise till now about this miracle,i couldn't conceive but as soon as the spell was cast,i became pregnant and gave birth to my third child(Taylor) if you need any assistance from him you can contact him via:Email (MIRACLESPELLHOME@YAHOO.COM),, or you can also contact him through his website http://miraclespellhome.wix.com/dr-miracles,,or call him,,+2348071398555,,,,

    ReplyDelete
  25. It still hard to believe that after 3years of breakup Dr JATTO was still able to restore me and my boyfriend together. it all happened 3years ago when i and my boyfriend was in the room suddenly his phone rang and he picked and i over heard him talking to a lady about meeting her up later. so when he finished making the call. i asked him about and he burst out suddenly annoyed and furious and was telling me that i shouldn't asked him again about any question that was how our argument started and with annoyance dressed up and left home and ever since then he refuse to come back to home again. but after all i was confused i was just searching through the internet how i can get my boyfriend can return back home to me i suddenly came across Dr JATTO testimony how he has re-unite boyfriend back to their girlfriend. i contact him and asked him for help and he assure me of a solution that will bring back my lover back to me again and never to leave ever again and he cast a spell for me and after 24hours my boyfriend came back to me and today we are happy together. contact his Email:drjattolovespellteple@gmail.com or drjattolovespelltemple@yahoo.co.uk or his mobile number:: +2347050270268 or you visit his web page::http://drjattolovespellte.wixsite.com/spelltempl...

    ReplyDelete
  26. Natasha
    I am overwhelmed today for what God used PROPHET WILLIAMS the great spell caster to do in my life. I had misunderstanding with my husband in the past and so it led us breaking up for 3 years but one day i saw a post of Jane Rodgers who posted on the internet that PROPHET WILLIAMS helped her with a spell that brought her Husband back so i decided to contact PROPHET WILLIAMS the great spell caster on his email. : prophetwilliamsspiritualtemple@gmail.com ;to help me and he assured me that my husband will come back to me. luckily today i am very glad to write on this wall that Moris my husband has come back to me as the great spell caster PROPHET WILLIAMS said. Do you have a problem with your Wife, Husband, boy friend, girl friend, relations or in your office and you think you have lost them? worry no more because PROPHET WILLIAMS the great spell caster can help you just as he helped me bring my husband back. Contact PROPHET WILLIAMS today via: E-mail: prophetwilliamsspiritualtemple@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  27. I'm Success Puga from Los Angeles.Dr Ero herbal cure is 100% Guarantee percent sure to cure your HEPATITIS B,He is only person that i can boldly say he can cure any types of Disease.i was having HEPATITIS B for more than 5 year when i met Dr Ero online how on how he has cured so many people and how greatly he has helped many individuals online,so i contacted him and explained my situation to him and behold i was cure with his herbal medicine and now we are living happily, so to anyone issue on herpes challenges i advised that you contact dreroherbaltreatment@gmail.com he can also cure any disease such as HIV/AIDS HEPATITIS B,DIABETICS,CANCER,HERPES HE is the great herbalist man called Dr.Ero i must say a big thanks for curing my disease, i owe you in return. Thanks and be blessed sir.his Mobil number +2349077338035.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I can't believe how how Dr Jatto did this miracle to me but i am still shocked how he came to rescue me from my anguish and pain that has deserted my marriage me and my husband has been married for the past 2years and one sudden day me and my husband has a quarrel about why he always come back home everyday.suddenly he was mad and shouted and left the house and for almost 2month now i never heard from him.he don't reply my message neither does he pick my calls but it so amazing how i saw Dr Jatto testimony of a broken home he restored back on a blog. i contacted him and asked how he can help me.promised me that after casting a love spell for me in 24hours my husband will come back to me and never leave me ever again. i hoped in him and knew all will work out.after he cast the spell for me in 24hours my husband came back for me and begged for forgiveness since that day till now we are living so happily. contact his Email :drjattolovespellteple@gmail.com or drjattolovespelltemple@yahoo.co.uk or his Mobile:+2347050270268 or his website :http://drjattolovespellte.wixsite.com/spelltempl...

    ReplyDelete
  29. My mouth is full of testimonies,Am Success from United State. My husband left home for two years to south Africa for a tourist, where he meant this Lady and he was bewitch by the girl my husband refuse to come back home again, i cry day and night looking for who to help me, i read a news paper about a powerful spell caster called DR Ekpiku and i contacted the spell caster to help me get my lover back to me and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods we fight for me.. he told me by mid-night when all the spirit is at rest he will cast a spell to reunite my lover back to me. and he did in less than 3 days my husband came back to me and started crying that i should forgive him, i,m so happy for what this spell caster did for me and my husband..email: Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com
    (1)If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3)if You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4)if you have a place to work and you need help
    (5)If you want a child.
    (6)[You want to be rich.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I was married to my husband for 8years and we were both bless with three children, living together as one love, until this year when things was no longer the way the was [when he lost his job]. But when he later gets a new job 6 months after, he stated sleeping outside our matrimonial home. Only for me to find out that he was having an affair with the lady that gave him the job. since that day, when i called him, he don’t longer pick up my calls and nothing since to come out good. Yet my husbands just still keep on seeing the new girl friend till Dr. chiwaka cast a spell for me, now he is with me and my kids only. And i am happy with my family. he now love me and treat me well his via email. chiwakaspelltemple@gmail.com or chiwakaspelltemple@outlook.com call +2348062411614

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hello viewers, am Mrs Susan from Italy. It happened 19th March, that was the day I we never for get in a hurry, I was into a relationship with a wealthy man unknown to me he was HIV/AIDS positive, I told him to use condom but he said no that he don, t want to used it, he deceive me about him not having any sickness i slept with him and so on, last year I notice my health was very bad and even people around me were asking what happened to me, I decided to do a test the Doctor in St Philomena told me i, m HIV/AIDS positive when I told him what he have done to me, he hang up the call on me, first I wanted to commit suicide until a very good friend of my told how her hiv/aids were cure by Dr Ero I contacted him and explain to him and he told me to for get about the following.
    1) MY PCV I.E (BLOOD LEVEL).
    2) MY CD4 COUNT I.E (MY IMMUNE LEVEL.
    3) MY VIRAL LOAD AND MY VIRAL LOAD WAS 85-90.
    he told my that HIVIDIUM C2 CYRUP HERBAL REMEDY DRUGS CURE HIV/AIDS FASTER AND FOREVER.he prepared the HIVIDIUM C2 CYRUP HERBAL REMEDY DRUGS for me, I took it and he told me to do and there was a great change everything I listed above was restored to normal, I don, t know how to thank Dr. Ero dreroherbaltreatment@gmail.com. for healing my life and making me look 100% healthy.. now I have learnt my lesson, so is true that HIV/AIDS have a cure and is only HIVIDIUM C2 CYRUP HERBAL REMEDY DRUGS. don, t doubt his drugs that cure any manner of disease is truly a soul sever. contact him through dreroherbaltreatment@gmail.com or number +2349077338035
    he also cure herpes, cancer, kidney, hepatitis and lot more.

    ReplyDelete
  32. My name is Joy Lopes, I never thought I will smile again, My husband left me with two kids for one year, All effort to bring him back failed I thought I'm not going to see him Dr.Miracle She gave me his email address and mobile number and I contacts him again not until I met a lady called Jesse who told me about a spell caster collected him and he assured me that within 48 hours my husband will come back to me, In less than 48 hours my husband came back started begging for forgiveness saying it is the devils work, so I'm still surprise till now about this miracle,i couldn't conceive but as soon as the spell was cast,i became pregnant and gave birth to my third child(Taylor) if you need any assistance from him you can contact him via:Email (MIRACLESPELLHOME@YAHOO.COM),, or you can also contact him through his website http://miraclespellhome.wix.com/dr-miracles,,or call him,,+2348071398555,,,,

    ReplyDelete
  33. Get your ex lover back before Xmas and new year urgently(templeofjoyandprosperity@gmail.com)

    Hello, i am Jessica Wayne from TX, USA. Life without my husband was a real mess for me and my children I am so happy to get my Ex back through the help of Dr Noble the spell caster . My greatest surprise was that 48 hours after the Doctor prepared the spell for me, my husband who has abandoned me for 4 years suddenly called me unexpectedly and am so happy that we have come to become one again through the help of Dr Noble and am so happy to be with my husband once again. Dr Noble is a very wonderful spell caster, you can contact him if you need his assistant because i know he can also help you. contact him through his email: templeofjoyandprosperity@gmail.com immediately

    ReplyDelete

  34. Get your ex lover back before Xmas and new year urgently(templeofjoyandprosperity@gmail.com)

    Hello, i am Jessica Wayne from TX, USA. Life without my husband was a real mess for me and my children I am so happy to get my Ex back through the help of Dr Noble the spell caster . My greatest surprise was that 48 hours after the Doctor prepared the spell for me, my husband who has abandoned me for 4 years suddenly called me unexpectedly and am so happy that we have come to become one again through the help of Dr Noble and am so happy to be with my husband once again. Dr Noble is a very wonderful spell caster, you can contact him if you need his assistant because i know he can also help you. contact him through his email: templeofjoyandprosperity@gmail.com immediately

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hi everyone,
    Real & Powerful Love spell caster to get your Ex lover back fast online.
    I'm so excited.
    My ex-boyfriend is back after a breakup,I’m extremely happy that will are living together again.
    My name is Mary Wilkie from England.
    My boyfriend of a 4yr just broke up with me and am 30 weeks pregnant.I have cried my self to sleep most of the nights and don’t seem to concentrate during lectures sometimes I stay awake almost all night thinking about him and start to cry all over again.Because of this I end up not having energy for my next day’s classes ,my attendance has dropped and am always in uni and on time.Generally he is a very nice guy ,he ended it because he said we were arguing a lot and not getting along.He is right we’ve been arguing during the pregnancy a lot .After the break up I kept ringing him and telling him I will change.I am in love with this guy and he is the best guy I have ever been with.I’m still hurt and in disbelief when he said he didn’t have any romantic feelings towards me anymore that hurt me faster than a lethal syringe.He texts me now and then mainly to check up on how am doing with the pregnancy,he is supportive with it but it’s not fair on me, him texting me as I just want to grieve the pain and not have any stress due to the pregnancy.i was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my bf came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my bf are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Unity. If you have any problem contact Dr.Unity now and i guarantee you that he will help you.Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 ,His website: http://unityspelltemple.yolasite.com .

    ReplyDelete
  36. It was a miracle how Dr BAWADA BROUGHT BACK Girlfriend that i have dated for almost 2 years. we have both been living happily together until she got this job and he started coming home late in the midnight hour.every time i ask her she keeps on telling me that it her boss giving her work to do. it happen to a point i had to spy on her to see if she was really telling the truth.i later found out that she was not at work she was having date with her boss. when she came home i asked her she lied then i told her i saw her with her boss.she was mad that she isn't the one. when i asked further she left angryling and never came back to my house. i did all my best to get her back but she never came. then i was so confused. the next day i was surfing on the internet then i saw testimonies on a Dr called BAWADA he has helped several broken live. i contact him and he cast a spell for me and told me in 24hours my Girlfriend will come back to me.surely after 24hour she ran back to me. so glad contact his email:drbawadasolutionhome@gmail.com or his mobile:+2348110156066 or his website: http://drbawadasolutionho.wixsite.com/drbawada

    ReplyDelete
  37. ALL THANKS TO DR WILLIAMS FOR CURING ME FROM A DEADLY DISEASE HEPATITIS B.
    Appreciation is the key to doing more that is why I have took some
    time out to thank some one who cured me of my 2 years HEPATITIS B
    problem. It became a major problem to me as it was affecting my
    marital life and I was no longer comfortable so I decided to look for
    a solution and I came across a post of Dr willaims and how he has been
    helping people of the same problem I contacted him and told him all I
    have been facing in my life. He told me how to get his product and how
    to take it after every thing I find out that all was now okay with me
    and that my HEPATITIS B problem was gone that is why I have come out
    today to say thank you to him . his email address drwilliams098765@gmail.com for advice and for his product

    ReplyDelete
  38. HOW I GOT RID OF MY 2YEARS GENITAL HERPES WITHIN 7 DAYS,GOD IS AWESOME!
    THIS IS REAL,PLEASE DON'T IGNORE.Call/Text me via; +1-614-230-0384

    HIS WEBSITE;https://doctorsambolablog.wordpress.com

    I caught genital herpes from my Ex Husband in 2015,he never told me about the virus. I had it for 2 years with so many outbreak,and it affected my life.. People think herpes is really a minor skin irritation herpes has a long term effects on health. The stigma attached to this virus by ignorant people is ridiculous. Most people have herpes in one form or another,i was first taking Antiviral medicines, such as acyclovir(Zovirax), famciclovir (Famvir), and valacyclovir (Valtrex), are recommended for treating primary genital herpes outbreaks. This medicine can be taken when an outbreak occurs. It can also be taken every day to help prevent outbreaks,it is not a total cure... I will like to tell everyone who is reading this my testimony on how i get rid of my genital herpes.I was reading a comment on the internet,and i saw a testimony posted by a young lady from USA that she got rid of her herpes with the help of doctor SAMBOLA,a Traditional Herbalist.So i was so happy when i saw that post,that his herbal medication Cure the virus totally.I quickly copied the herbal doctor email address and i email him within 30 minutes he respond to my mail.I explain things to him he told me not to worry that i should fill his herbal form which i did..The next day he told me that he has prepare the herbal medicine,that i should send him my address that he want to sent his HERBAL MEDICINE to me via DHL or FED-EX that was how i got the herbal medication and i use it as i was instructed.After a week i went to see a Medical Doctor who confirmed my herpes was no more.When some of my friend who has herpes saw me they were surprise and i also introduce them to the man and they are also cure from the same Genital herpes today.I also refer my cousin to the same herbalist who was having HIV and today she is fully cure...If you have Genital or Oral herpes or any kind of Diseases and infections,kindly contact HERBALIST SAMBOLA via this email;herbalistsambola@gmail.com OR herpesherbalcure@gmail.com/


    He also have a herbal cure for Following DISEASES,this is not scam is 100% Real.

    -PENIS ENLARGEMENT AND WEAK ERECTION
    -WHOOPING COUGH
    - HEPATITIS B
    -ALS
    -LOWER RESPIRATORY INFECTION
    -LOW SPERM COUNT
    -MRSA(METHICILLIN-RESISTANT STAPHYLOCOCCUS AUREUS
    -ZIKA VIRUS
    -COPD
    -STROKE
    -IMPOTENCE
    -PILE
    -HYPERTENSION
    -LOW SPERM COUNT
    -MENOPAUSE DISEASE
    -ASTHMA
    -CANCER
    -BARENESS/INFERTILITY
    -PCOS
    -SHINGLES
    -VIRAL HEPATITIS/HEPATITIS B
    -FIBROID
    -ASTHMA
    -SICKLE CELL
    -TINNITUS
    -BARENESS/INFERTILITY
    -DIARRHEA and so on...

    Contact him today and you will have a testimony..
    GOD IS TRULY GREAT..Click on the link of the Doctor that cure me of my GENITAL HERPES;https://doctorsambolablog.wordpress.com

    Call/Text me via; +16142300384

    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete