Thursday, January 15, 2015

Downton Abbey: S5 Ep2 Primetime Performer presented by A1® Steak Sauce

Yo Lady Edith might not suck as much butt as we thought!!!

Hey fartfaces, let's do this (even though it's four days late). As always, my man Turbo (underscore) Timmy is here to help me give out this week's Downton Abbey Primetime Performer presented by A1® Steak Sauce. Better late than never, right? (Debatable.)

The Evster: I rescued a stray cat this week and now only care about him and nothing else, but shout out to Lady Mary in her continuing quest to get boned (and to Marnie from Girls for getting her butt eaten out). There's nothing hotter than a chick who wants to get boned (or have her butt eaten out). Honestly men are so stupid. Also I can't prove it, but I'm 90% sure my cat's way into butt stuff. He's obviously my Primetime Performer of the Week (presented by A1® Steak Sauce). He has fur on him!

AhhhhhhhhDORBS.

Turbo (underscore) Timmy: I thought it was kinda messed up when Mary sent Anna to the corner store to pick her up some rubbers for her little romantic get away with Lord Gilly. When I was pledging a fraternity in college the brothers (ugh. "brothers". frats are so stupid I know) always sent us to the Uni-Mart for condoms in the middle of parties so I FEEL YO PAIN ANNA THAT AIN'T YO JOB (just like it's not your job to eat coffee ground sandwiches or get peanut butter smeared in your armpits lol frats). But wait back to the show, did you see the contraceptive device that Anna picked up at the store? It looked like one of those scalp massagers but also kinda like one of those drink strainers that bartenders use. I mean what WAS that thing?? Anna was so embarrassed at the shop she rushed out without the instructions for the dang thing. Hey wouldn't it be funny if Ms. Pattmore found it and was all like "Heyyy what's this little thingy I can totally use this to whip me eggs for tonight's custard" then Anna would walk in and get bright red and not know what to do that'd be a classic yolk i mean joke.

My Primetime Performer presented by A1® Steak Sauce goes to Lady Rose obviouslyyyyy not only is she the absolute hottest she also brought a wireless to the house, Ev! A wireless! Also I think she donated some clothes to Russian refugees which was nice of her.

The Evster: Overruled!

Frank aka South Philly Frank aka Frank the Barber aka Pope Francis aka The Pope aka The Popester is the winner!

OBVS!

CAN'T EVEN

Read more Downton Abbey stuff here!!!!!!! Or just tell me how cute my #cat is!!!

6 comments:

  1. that guy taught me the frank-west philly floater!! dokay turbo.

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  2. That really is a cute cat. Gingers are the best.

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    Replies
    1. THANK YOU FROM A MAN WHO MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE RED'ISH PUBIC HAIR

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  3. How many views did this page get?

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