|Nice crew neck tee, Richard!|
Upside, inside out, she's livin' la vida lo--that doesn't make any sense.
Upside inside out? Isn't that just inside out? 'Cause upside is just standing up, regular, and inside out is backwards, so "upside inside out" is just plain backwards. I mean, I would understand if Ricky Marts said upside DOWN inside out, but I googled the lyrics and nope, it's just "upside inside out." You would think that after spending five weeks on top of the Billboard charts in 1999 -- and essentially kicking off the Latin Pop Music explosion across the world -- that SOMEONE would've recognized that these lyrics are total nonsense. But nope, it wasn't til a lowly blogger needed an intro for his Smokehouse Mountain Shakedown 15 years later that anyone stepped up and said anything.
Even "INSIDE inside out" would make more sense! It's even a little meta -- like living deep inside the spirals of your own crazy life -- but nope, "upside inside out." Those are the lyrics. Sold over 8 million copies. Won a Grammy.
This Week in the Life of Tony the Tomato Salesman
This guy got into the best physical shape of his career for Nene. He dealt with her salty, cranky ass after she returned from her week with Derek. He took a sabbatical from selling tomatoes! And did Nene thank him? No. She didn't. You knew the answer to that question already. I just basically explained the whole thing three seconds ago. It is honestly amazing that this guy has not yet packaged his own tomato sauce. Are you telling me you wouldn't buy it? I'd absolutely buy it!
Candace Cams vs. Winnie Coops -- Round 7
|I don't know why this made me lolz but it did.|
Things I Absolutely Cannot Handle
|Mediocre sleeper hold AT BEST.|
How are these people so comfortable with each other that they want to constantly kiss and hug and rub each other's arms and is it really that cold in there? Is it like freezing in the DWTS studio? I like a good arm rubbing from time to time too, I'll give 'em that, but they're also sweating so it can't be THAT cold in there. My wife and I have been together for almost ten years and I've probably hugged and kissed her in public mayyyyyyybe four times. Maybe. And yet Meryl loves to sit back in Mak's arms holding onto him and nuzzling in his chest and smelling his sweat and you know what I actually get it I totally, totally get it.
Splinters are the worst though, the absolute worst. Even worse than paper cuts. YEAH I SAID IT. Because the thing is, when you get a paper cut, yeah it hurts like hell and you're immediately like, "HOW CAN THAT HAPPEN IT'S JUST PAPERRRRRR," but then you kiss it and put some Neosporin on and that's that. But when you get a splinter it's like full on butt bonkers panic for the next 90 seconds. Trying to locate the splinter, feeling where it is, GOOD GOD DON'T PUSH IT DEEPER WHERE ARE THE TWEEEEEEZZZERRRRRSSSSSSSSSS????
Mr. Froggington's Weekly Mirror Ball Watch
|Hi guys, it's me again.|
Mr. Froggington: Thanks, Evan. First of all, a little housecleaning to take care of before I make my pick: Please remember that I am in fact a frog, and do not actually watch television nor do I own a television nor have I ever owned a television or any other Japanese electronics in my entire life. Lily pads? Sure. Flies? Love 'em. Hopping? Could talk about it all night. But television dancing shows, not a clue. But still, the obvious choice this year is Meryl. It's not even close, it's almost silly at this point. I mean, I like Winnie Coops, and I think that handsome guy is pretty good too, and Charlie! he's not horrible! But Meryl is on a whole 'nother level. I am a frog.
Last Thing I Can't Believe I Waited This Long to Bring Up
|Completely and totally hairless!|
Not gonna lie, I'm a little aroused.
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