Every Thursday from now until the Oscars, I will be checking in with TVMWW's Hollywood Correspondents, Feddd and Sara Circs, to chat about movies. Their credentials are as follows: Sara was born and raised in LA and has a host of connections in the movie biz. Feddd once jacked his d in the Pacific Oashe. Onto this week's topic... Jared Leto!
me: So I don't know if y'all know this, but Jared Leto won the award for Best Supporting Actor at the Golden Globes, and now he's nominated for an Oscar. Frankly, I don't know anything about the dude other than he's a bozo. I didn't see Dallas Buyers, and he might've done a really great job in it, but I cannot handle him. Do you guys have any feelings toward him? Did you see Dallas Buyers? No you didn't. Of course you didn't. Who wants to say something? His hair is unacceptable.
Sara: Guys. I have a surprise for you.
Feddd: omg what?
Sara: You didn't know this going in, but this is gonna be a COMBO POST because Jared Leto went to my physical therapy gym!
me: A COMBO POST
Sara: IN 2010 WHAAAAAAAAAAT
me: COMBO COMBO COMBO!
Feddd: WHAT IS A "PHYSICAL THERAPY GYM"
Sara: I saw him there AT LEAST ONCE
me: He was working on his calves
Feddd: Oh, I heard he broke his tits
Sara: When I had to undergo physical therapy (for nbd but i got hit by a car when i was five months pregnant and broke my ankle NBD NBD)
me: OMG IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU CIRCS
Sara: So I was there, all pregs and broken I'M SORRY BUT IT'S TRUE
YOU WANT REALITY
YOU WANT RAWNESS
THIS IS REALITY
me: NO ONE WANTS REALITY
I'M NOT EVEN MARRIED
Sara: and he was there doing that thing where you pull down the weight and you work on your lats or some shit
me: Did you talk to him?
of course not. Why would I even ask?
Sara: his hair was very tall
he seemed like a dick and a half
Feddd: GUYS Guess what
me: Here comes a joke
joke joke joke
Feddd: I didn't tell you this going in...
but I once saw Jared Leto at the farmers market
SUCK MY D EVSTER U DANISH FUCK
me: He was buying new tits
me: GUYS, HE SEEMS LIKE A BOZO
Feddd: HE WAS WEARING A BIG FURRY RUSSIAN SOLDIER HAT
and a trench coat
and it was fucking hot out
Grade A Bozo
Sara: yeah total boze city
|Sooooo excited for the Sochi Olympics!|
me: Guys, let's backtrack
this chick I knew in high school (who I tried to finger in my car ... unsuccessfully) LOVED HIM and that stupid show he was on. Circs, were you into that shit in high school? Feddd was into jackin his d
Sara: yes i loved that show
Sara: and he was truly, truly beautiful
Jesse: NO! My so-called life
But my sister loved it!
Sara: every girl thought she was Angela Chase
me: ANGELA CHASE BLOWS DUDES
Sara: and every girl had her Jared Leto (MINE WAS JAKE GYLLS)
me: Mine was Fedddd
I don't know how this guy made a career for himself after only being on like 4 episodes of that show
Sara: what are you talking about, he had to have been in every ep almost
Feddd: He was a series regular
me: I mean the show only lasted like 4 eps!
Sara: the show lasted a seez
me: What was the appeal, Circs?
Sara: Well, he's very pretty (but so are a lot of people)
the whole brooding thing
me: Fedddd, did your sister like his tits?
Feddd: guys, he has some kind of sexual power
Sara: I mean, everyone could relate to that story. She's a girl who felt plain but he was the hottest guy at school and for some reason he liked her.
me: would never happen
Sara: of course not.
But we all wanted to believe it. WE WERE ALL ANGELA CHASE.
me: Wasn't Angela Chase the lady from Who's the Boss?
Sara: No that was Judith Light
me: He's also in a stupid band
Feddd: This video has 28 million hits:
me: And now he's nominated for an oscar?
Am I supposed to watch that video right now?
Sara: Yeah should we watch it?
me: Yeah, that'd be ridiculous
me: So modern day Jared Lets...
Sara: he's like a little pretty deer
Feddd: good actor though!
me: omg we haven't even scratched the surface here
Feddd: is he a good actor? I think!
Sara: Apparently he's totally method
Feddd: ugh fuck that
me: AND HE HAS BROKEN TITS
Feddd: that is the real story here
Sara: Matt McCons said he didn't "meet" Jared Leto until the wrap party
Feddd: a lotta guys, they break their tits, they cash in their chips
Sara: i'm ewwwing my own story, not the tits thing
i'm ignoring the tits thing
All right, let's wrap this up
the chat not his tits
So final thoughts on Jared Leto ... on the count of 3, let's all give our final thoughts
I'll give Circs time to think
Sara: I'M READY
i already have it typed in
Sara: total weirdo
me: I dunno, seems like a bozo who cares
Feddd: oh shit
me: EASY ON THE CURSING, FEDDD
me: THIS IS A FAMILY BLOG
AND WHY DO YOU KEEP APOLOGIZING
DID YOU BREAK YOUR TITS
Sara: what is happening
me: DO YOU NEED HELP
Feddd: No, I legit couldn't think of anything to say about Jared Leto
me: YOU’RE TYPING SO MUCH THO
Feddd: I guess, I'd just say he's a bozo who cares
me: see ya later guys
Sara: THAT'S TOO ABRUPT EVAN
god i hate it when you do that
me: SORRY CIRCS
HAVE A GREAT DAY WORKIN YOUR TITS BACK INTO SHAPE
Sara: you can't be goofing around with people and then WAMMO "see ya later guys"
Feddd: it's a total power move
Sara: it is, isn't it?
me: omg i already said bye
Sara: like, "i will always be the first to leave"
last to arrive, first to leave, i'm so fucking in demand
me: IT'S NOT TV YOUR WIVES WATCH
Feddd: I LIVE ALONE