Monday, February 10, 2014

Downton Abbey: Week 6 Primetime Performer presented by A1® Steak Sauce

Actual photo from Sara Circs' parents' dinner table!!!

All right meat lovers, grab your steaks, slather 'em up and let's get saucy!

Ev: Turbs, I don't know about you, but I find it very frustrating that Downton Abs has a reputashe for being lame and froo-frooey when in actuality this show hits HARD AS FUCK. In last night's ep, a lady tried to kill her unborn baby (scandalous!), a black dude made out with a teenager (on a boat!), and a rape victim was forced to drink tea with her rapist (zowzers!). This show is a motherfreakin' rolla coasta! As far as the Primetime Performer award, so many worthy candidates: Mrs. Crawley for nursing Old Mama Grantham back to health, Mr. Pig Farmer Guy for saving those pigs, the pigs for acting in a major television drama! OMG I'm obvs giving the award to the piggies. THEY WERE OINKING!

Turbo: Evster... I am exhausted. Last night after reffing four games of girls "getting together to throw basketballs over the backboard", I finally got home around 9 to watch last week's AND this week's episodes. Let's get right into it. POOR EDITH. Where is her man? What will become of the baby? The way I see it, Edith has one or two episodes MAX before she throws herself off the roof.

Ev: MAX!

Turbo: Hey here's a question... what the hell are Barrow and the sewing lady doing? Why is Barrow so obsessed with rumors/gossip? It's kind of bizarre and I am not quite sure why the sewing lady is helping him since she seems like a nice lady and Barrow is a lunatic.

Ev: I think he's got some super secret info on her. Maybe some nudie pics.

Turbo: Also, the black guy. (Evster's note: aka Sammy Davis Sr.) Yes, the black guy that Rose brought to Downton is making everyone uncomfortable despite the fact that he's a very nice guy. Did you know that I was stuck in the Dallas airport overnight last week and met a black guy from Louisiana named Robert? When I told my girlfriend about Robert THE FIRST THING SHE ASKED ME was if I spoke to him as if I were Lady Cora talking to her husband Lord (Robert) Grantham. "Oh Robert, won't you join me for Triple Dipper sampler at Chili's?"

This week's Primetime Performer presented by A-1 Steak Sauce has gottttta go to Jimmy for trying to cop a feel on Ivy out on the bench. Granted he was swiftly rejected and screamed at but you gotta give that boy some steak sauce for bein' out there and doin' his damn thing!

Ev: Dude, Jimmy tried to grab her titties last week. Fourteen days ago. When we gave the Primetime Performer award to Pam Oliver's coat. Do you even remember what happened last night? With the piggies? How are you TVMWW's resident Downton expert and you can't even get your episodes straight oh who cares let's just give it to Jimmy.

Conngtragtualtionshitosnts, Jimmy!

Previous Primetime Performers:

Week 1 -- Daisy 
Week 2 -- Mr. Handsomeface 
Week 3 -- Richard Sherman 
Week 4 -- Mrs. Hughes 
Week 5 -- Pam Oliver's coat 


  1. you should really have HP Sauce (google it) sponsor your Downtown Abbey posts. Way more British than A1. I'll stop talking now. Byeeeeee -- Anoymous

    1. Anonymous you are SO RIGHT but at this point the ink is dry on our A1 sponorship contract (which is very rich, btw) so it is too late in the game to just change it. We will consider them for next season, though.