Monday, January 6, 2014

This Week's Downton Abbey Primetime Performer Presented by A1® Steak Sauce

Thank you to our generous sponsor. 

Hey all you hamburgers and cheeseburgers, welcome to a new weekly feature her at TV My Knife Cutches, The Downton Abbey Primetime Performer presented by A1® Steak Sauce. Every Monday, we'll be giving out a major award to the week's best player on Downton Abbs.

Joining us all season will be my good pal, Turbo Timmy, because he majored in British Literature at Leeds University and is the only other dude I know who watches this show. Turbo's insider knowledge of British culture combined with his ability to return my emails in a timely fashion will be a major asset to TVMWW.

But enough with all this jibber jabber! Let's give out this week's award!

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THE EVSTER:  I gotta tell ya Turbs, there were a lotta great performances to choose from this week. Mr Molesely, pathetic Mr Molesely, I definitely thought he might kill himself. Then there was Lady Mary, dark and lonely, who I also thought might kill herself. And let's not forget about Lady Whatshername (who's normally so boring that I wish she would kill herself) who totally slutted herself up and jammed her tongue down a dude's throat! Still, I'm giving this week's award to the doggie, because he did a great job being a doggie. Congrats, doggie.

TURBO:  Turn on the tea, butter up some scones, and put your mobile on silent because it's Downton Abbey time, innit? I am honoured to be a part of your weekly recap and if the rest of the season is anything like episode one, we are in for one proper thrill ride. The 2 hour (commercial free!!!) episode was jam packed with everything we've come to expect from this great English costume drama: the ever-present struggle for power, sadness, tension, lying, secret telling, and mixing bowls (more on that later). Life at the Abbey is terribly somber as everyone is still grieving from the loss of Matthew but that didn't stop cousin Rose from going to York to hit da club with head housemaid Anna. Rose even got a little freaky with a local farmhand! Elsewhere, Thomas' hair is still super shiny, Bates and Anna are still totally cute (but also kinda creepy I mean he's WAY too old for her, right?) and Branson is still wearing pants tucked into knee high socks which means he could probably steal 50+ bases should he wish to pursue a career in baseball. With that being said, my performer of the week has got to be Daisy, the homely kitchen-maid who has quickly learned how to use the new mixing bowl (despite the head cook not being able to). Well done Daisy! Keep turning out those fluffy meringues!

THE EVSTER: Yeah, Daisy's probably the better choice. Let's go with her. Sorry, doggie.


Look at all those bundt pans!

15 comments:

  1. I love Turbo Timms! This is a great idea! Let's see if he makes it to next week.

    By the way, no chance that guy's name is Molesely holy shit I just checked and you were way closer than I thought, it's actually Molesley.

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    1. Thank you for correcting me, Mole Woman

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    2. Thanks for your support, SaraCircs. BTW I watched your video the other day and thought it was really funny!!!

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    3. Turbs, please change your user name from Darth Hater to Turbs so people can understand what the hell is going on here. Thank you, - The Management

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    4. HERE I AM!!!! There you go, Ev. Not only did I correct my username but I also jacked up our comment count on the article just like you asked!!!

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  2. What about Cora?? She singlehandedly spied on the evil nanny, fired her and then VOLUNTEERED to stay with the children whilst a suitable maid was found. Think of her sacrifice! The whole incident probably put her off her claret.

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    Replies
    1. When I left for work this morning I fully intended for this whole post to center around EVIL NANNY but then I forgot.

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    2. Dar i totally forgot about the evil nanny, too! Was Cora also the one who forced Lord Granths to show Mary the letter from Matthew before he passed it along to the attorney?

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    3. HOW DO YOU ALL KNOW THESE PEOPLE'S NAMES?!?!

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    4. No, I think it was the Dowager Countess, Violet, who really convinced him to show the letter to Lady Mary before shipping it off to Murray. Lord Grantham needs to chillllllll.

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    5. Violet is THE BEST. Always quick with a witty insult and doesnt give a F what anyone thinks. She and Lady Crawley used to go at it. Those are the best scenes. She's a likely candidate to win the A1 Steak Sauce Top Performer every week.

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  3. Also, Ev - can you get Padma a new outfit? She looks WAY too good this season to be stuck with that denim thing.

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    Replies
    1. I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY EVEN THO I LOVE A WOMAN IN FINE COLOMBIAN DENIM

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  4. Finally someone on this gull dang website with an opinion worth reading.

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