Monday, January 27, 2014

Downton Abbey: Week 4 Primetime Performer presented by A1® Steak Sauce

#A14LYFE

HOLY GUACAMOLE. They did it again. Those bastards did it again. Can you believe what happened on Downton last night?!?!?!?!?

Okay. Calm down. Just calm down. Let's all get it together. Wow, though. Wow! Man, well now that it's Monday morning, and we've all gotten a chance to catch our breaths, Turbo Underscore Timmy and I are back to present this week's Downton Abbey PPPBA1SS.

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The Evster:  Yeah I didn't see Downton last night. My wife wanted to watch it, but I convinced her that we should watch the Grammys instead, which were fine, whatever, they were fine. Pharrell's hat was obviously dumb/amazing and I loved Ringo's dance moves, but you would think that an icon like Ringo -- whose whole life has revolved around movement and rhythm -- would be able to do more than just a side-to-side sway job. Still, he looked happy, and excited, and I like that song, so I'm gonna give this week's award to Mrs. Hughes.

Turbo:  Hey Ev! Boy it's great to be back for another Downton Abbey recap for the website TV My Wife Watches Because I am Making Her Watch it Even Though She Wants To Watch the Show I Am Supposed To Write A Recap For Tomorrow Dot Blogspot Dot Com. (Evster's note: got rid of the blogspot months ago!) So yeah, I didn't watch Downton Abbs either and instead opted for the Grams. The dude in Fun has the worst voice ever, Katy Perry had a unforgivable lack of cleavage and why was Pink suspended from ropes while singing? Kendrick Lamar PUT IT DOWN despite a bunch of white guys trying to corny-ify the whole performance. Also Steve Coogan is freakin hilarious and had some amazing lines and if you haven't seen the movie 24 Hour Party People then you are an idiot. I ACTUALLY THINK MRS. TVMWW TOLD ME ABOUT THAT MOVIE!!!

The Evster:  Dude, you didn't even give out an award.

Turbo:  It's obviously going to the Dowager Dutchess of Grantham did you even watch the episode last night?!?!

The Evster:  No. I already told you I didn't.

Turbo:  Oh, right. Let's just go with Mrs Hughes then.

The Evster:  Congratulations, Mrs. Hughes!


Supper just get a little bit suppier!

Previous Primetime Performers:

Week 1: Daisy
Week 2: I don't remember
Week 3: Richard Sherman

6 comments:

  1. On one hand, the predictable mediocrity of this weekly segment is among the most consistent things on the web.
    On the other hand, no one is going to read this comment, since I think everyone is trained to avoid this shitshow.
    I'm thinking about changing things up. I'm only gonna file white women in my spankbank from now on*.


    *this is an unabashed lie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One of the all-time least-viewed posts in this website's history!

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    2. yo it's time to SHUT THIS THING DOWN, EV. The people have spoken!

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    3. omg shut up turbo WE ARE IN IT FOR DA LONG HAUL and also i promised our generous sponsor a whole season of promos!

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  2. A 1 steak sauce is for baby brains who like to mask the taste of quality meat. Why not just put ketchup on it like a 4 year old? #DUB-SHIRE4LYFE

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PLEASE DON'T INSULT OUR GENEROUS SPONSOR THANK YOU

      Delete