Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Game of Frones: Bonk, Buh-Bonk, Buh-Bonk-Bonk, Bonkers!

More candles than the Bachelorette?

Now that the dust has settled, the blood has dried and I've stopped screaming whenever someone walks behind me, let's talk about that bonkers ep of Game of Frones. And when I say "Let's talk" I obviously mean "Let's listen to me talk" and by "talk" I mean "write" and by "write" I mean "wrort".

Yes, that scene was bonkers, and no, I didn't see it coming, and yes, it's super annoying when people construct sentences like this, but was the killing of Robb Stark, his pregnant wife and their annoying-ass mother really that heartbreaking?

For one, Robb Stark spells his name with two Bs. That's just silly. "Hi, how ya doin, I'm Catelyn, and this is my son, Rah-buh-buh." Not that Rah-buh-buh is the silliest name on the show, that belongs to Jamie Lannister. I mean, Jamie? Jamie?!?! His brother's name is Tyrion, his sister's name is Sersei, but his parents decided to call him Jamie. I went to elementary school with a dude named Jamie and my parents still can't wrap their heads around it. Maybe the Lannisters were ahead of their time? I hope they name their next son, Bryden.

(And by the by, if your name is Jenn with two Ns or Titt with two Ts, maybe it's time for you to reevaluate what the hell you're doing in this world. Although if your name is Titt with two Ts then I obviously want to meet you. Pls contact me. Even if you're a foreign dude. Especially if you're a foreign dude. Thx.)

What are they, part eskimo?!?!?

Back to Rah-buh-buh. Yes, he's good-looking, and yes, he seemed like a pretty nice guy, and what the freak, why am I writing sentences like this again???? but he was BORRRINNNGGGGG, and quite frankly, way too in love (which is just gross). Plus, his wife was preggers, so her tits woulda just got saggier and saggier and C'MON YOU KNOW YOU WERE THINKING IT, TOO, and eventually that little kid would've driven them crazy and the Starks would've started obsessing over things like "percentiles" and "putting the kid down for a nap" like every other set of young parents I know.

Mama Stark was a total nag so I'm fine with seeing her go.

For the record, I don't know if I actually believe any of these things I've just written. I might just be trying to be provocative, but then again I'm not really sure what that word means.

Also, the wolf got got!

And Gareth Keenan! Assistant to the Regional Manager.

And how about when Gareth Keenan zorped into that bird and started pecking Jon Snow's eyeballs! I wanted him to eat his eyeballs. I also liked when the wolf ate that guy's throat. Jon Snow can suck my butt!

And did Theon get his dork chopped off or what?!?!

I hope a horse ends up on the throne.

Watch this horse eat apple snauce!

Watched two eps of Christopher Guest's new show on HBO last night, Family Tree, and I friggin' LURVE it! It stars Chris O'Dowd (the police officer from Bridesmaids) and it's really funny and omg who cares just watch it. Or just check out this amazing gif of Antonio McDyess. That's prolly what you're gonna do anyway, and I understand. 

Twitta: @TVMWW


  1. Yeah, as brutally shocking as it was...Robbbbbb and his wifey wife were getting a little to lovey dovey for me. That whole seen to weeks ago where Robbbbb was like "Ow am I sposed to plan a war with you lookin' ike at?" Come on you softy, I don't see you torturing Theon yourself? In fact, did Robbbbbb ever...oh yeah, he chopped some dudes head off, nm. bonkers but I hear the season finale is even more epic.

  2. i heard they make theon grayjoy fuck a dog but he refuses so they chop the dog's butt off and then have dogbutt soup for dinner i'm sorry