Thursday, November 8, 2012

Wednesday's Wifey: First Lady Michelle Obama

So friggin' adorbs it makes me use words like adorbs.

YO HOW SCARY WAS TUESDAY NIGHT!

You gotta admit Romney had you a little shook for a bit -- but ALL IS OKAY, because like my man Bussa Buss said, "MY PRESIDENT BLACK!!!"

Personally, I thought it was a no brainer -- I mean, did you want a prez with a silky sweet lefty jumper? or a friggin' white person? THANK YOU.

So in honour of big Barry and his four more years, let's pay tribute to his beautiful dime piece of a First Lady, Michelle Obama.

But first, much respect to Obammy and the SWEATPANTS TUCKED IN:



My mans with the Ginobili euro-step!

(I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm talking/writing like this. I don't normally talk/write like this, but I just spent the last two hours listening to the Lox and now I want to seriously go stick up a bank. Also, MY PRESIDENT BLACK!!!)




Pretty solid extension here by the First Lade. I don't know what she's doing exactly -- is this ballet class? (Naw.) Step class? (Racist?) Reggie Roby's punting class? (So racist!) I kinda feel like she just pooch punted that jawn right inside the twenty. PRETTY SOLID EXTENSHE, LADY!




WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT EXTENSHE!

Ladies, this is Reggie Robes by the way -- poss the only black punter in the history of punting -- MY PUNTER BLACK!!!




Have you ever seen a more laid back JV basketball squad? Look, I understand that living in Hawaii is like a full-time stay at Rancho Relaxo, but is there anyway this team ever won a game?

"How was the game today, Chip?"

"Well, we lost 78-12, but Hakumano got to get into the game, so that was nice for him."

Hakumano??? Is that even a Hawaiian name???

And why is that bull on Obama's left ALL UP ON HIM? 



While Obammy was going skin-to-skin with Jeff Spicoli Jr., Shelley was straight SHOWIN' SOME LEG at this high school dance. And how AMAZING IS THAT CHAIR! I'm not sayin' Michelle Obams was ahead of her time, but interesting move bringing a 45-year-old insurance salesman to her prom.





Following high school, our First Lade went to Princeton -- HOW MANY OF Y'ALL KNEW THAT? I mean, there's actually a very good chance that a lot of you knew that. It seems like something most people would know. I'm honestly a little embarrassed that it took me googling pics of Shelley to learn this.

Also, I don't like calling her Shelley -- I'M DONE WITH THATS -- Shelley's new name: CARVIN. 



I think Carvin and Barry met while they were both at Harvard, but I didn't really do too much reading when I was searching for pics so I'm not 100% sure. I am however 100% sure that Carvin's brother is a BEAST and now coaches hoops at Oregon State. I also know that the dude on the far left can probably get GREAT EXTENSHE on the dance floor!




YOU CANNOT TEACH THAT EXTENSH!

And he's wearing Pony's!

This is actually sad, from Wikipeeds:

On February 22, 2005, Roby's wife, Melissa, found him without a pulse in their Nashville home. To date, the cause of death remains unannounced. He left behind six children, Brittany, Bry, Julian, Dominic, Sophia, and Jovita. In the days after his death, former Miami Dolphins head coach Don Shula praised Reggie Roby: "He was an outstanding punter for us and his booming kicks often helped us win the field position battle." 

THAT'S THE MOST BORING QUOTE EVER.

THANKS COACH SHULA.




No wonder Oregon State has a terrible basketball team, look at these guys that Carvin's brother has to coach!!! (All right, enough of the "Carvin," this is our First Lady for cryin' out louds. Show some respects!) That #5 is not even coming close to paying attention, the dude bent over on Coach's right PLAYS SO HARD, but clearly has no talent, and look at the guy behind Coach: he's got sleevegloves on!!! WHAT A PUSS!!! No good athlete in the history of athletics has ever worn sleevegloves!




IT'S NOT FUNNY -- SLEEVEGLOVES ARE EMBARRASSING -- AND THE BEAVERS ARE HORRIBLE!




After watching the Beavers take an L, nothing like going out for some Italian food at one of those restaurants with the red checkered tables. My wife and I recently went to one of those places in our neighborhood and we went to TOWN on the bread and butter. Then we hardly ate our meals, paid the check, AND WENT HOME TO TRY AND MAKE A POINT GUARD!

SLASH PUNTER!



Of course, nowadays Michelle only eats healthy (which is okay, I guess). I mean, I still like me some veal parmesan, but it's hard to ignore a head of lettuce with googly eyes!

THE LETTUCE HAS GOOGLY EYES!




So happy for the lovely couple on the re-election. And after a long campaign, sometimes you just need to sit back with your boo, take off your shoes and listen to the Fab Four for four more years.

Hit it, Paulie.





I recognize I'm a little late with the whole Obama thing, but I been busy this week. But if you're still into the election stuff check out this amazing bit that Chris Rock did on Jimmy Kimmel's show. 
Orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr listen to the Lox and go shank somebody!


2 comments:

  1. OMG! This is the looooooooongest post ever. Is it done yet?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A RHETORICAL QUESTION THAT I DON'T REALLY CARE FOR.

      THANKS FOR READING & COMMENTING THOUGH. HAVE A BLESSED DAY.

      Delete