Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Ben and Kate: My Wife's New Favourite (yup, Favourite) Show

I know, it looks like the lamest show ever, BUT IT'S NOTS.

You should see people's reactions when I try to talk to them about the new Fox sitcom, Ben and Kate. Most roll their eyes, some make a little pfft noise with their mouth, my friend Chicken simply looked at me, pulled out her cellphone and started scrolling through it.

Thanks, Chickster.

You would think: "Hey, this guy has a blog about television and a relatively decent sense of humour and only three less Twitter followers than he had yesterday, maybe he'd know about little something about new sitcoms," but noooooooooooo, Chickie couldn't be bothered to listen to her ole pal The Evster talk about his wife's new FAVOURITE SHOW.

But Chickster doesn't know isht about isht. Ben and Kate is a good show. Like, a really, really, really good show. It's funny, it's quirky, it's well-written, the characters are sweet and nice-looking and why am I even bothering to convince you? It doesn't matter if you watch. It's not like you ever watch any of the stuff I tell you to watch, anyway. How many of you watched Tiny Furniture? Maybe three? Mayyybbeeee three? (That's actually not bad, and I appreciate the three people who did watch. Shout out to Rod, Jonny Hi-Tops and Wibber.) Honestly, do you even watch the videos at the end of these posts? What do you ever do for TVMWW? Do you chime in in the comments sectsh? Do you retweet my jawns on Twitter? Would it kill you to send me one little email from time to time to let me know that you're reading? "Hey Ev, I watched that Ken Burns documentary that you tweeted about. It was so boring I fell asleep on my dog's dick." Would it kill you to do that?!

WOULD IT KILL YOU TO DO THAT???

I don't know why I write this thing.

Here's the basic gist of Ben and Kate: This goofy dude (Ben) moves in with his little sister and single mom (Kate) to help her raise her daughter (Whatsherface). Ben also has an eccentric black-guy best friend (Tommy) and Kate works with a hilarious, slutty British lady (BJ). I know, I know, that sounds like the lamest sitcom in the history of sitcoms. Also the little girl is not nearly as cute as Alf. Let me continue.



This is Dakota Johnson. She plays Kate. Remember that Johnson part, because in a little bit I'm gonna blow your mind. And yeah, yeah, she looks like your standard white lady, but sometimes she wears really red lipstick and she's a really good actress and she used to be a model and why am I still trying to convince you???

I HATE YOU ALL!!!



This is Dakota Johns back when she was a model. Kinda looks like Khaleesi, right?

(For the rec, this might actually be Khaleesi. I've never been known to do the most accurate research when searching for pics.)

But check this out: guess who Kate's parents are in real life?



BOOM, BABY!

The late, great Don Johns (he's not dead) and his ex-wife, Melanie Grorfiths!

Look how happy and alive and in love the young couple was (and how much Melanie looks like Drew Barrymores.) Once again, not the most accurate researcher in the biz, this very well could be Drew Barrymorbs. 



Here's Don Johns and another lady who the Internet says is Melanie Griffs even though she looks nothing like Melanie Griffs. I mean, is that Melanie Griffs? I honestly have no idea. What I do know is that Don Johns definitely has potato nips. (source: PotatoNips.com)



Back to Ben and Kate. Obviously, just by looking at this guy's face (this is Ben by the way) you can tell he's hilarious. My wife's friend Coco says she can't watch the show because this guy's teeth are too messed up. That's messed up. This guy in real life (Nat Faxon) won the Academy Award for Best Screenplay after writing The Descendants. I never saw that movie, but I did watch four hours of the latest Ken Burns documentary. It was equal parts fascinating and borrrrinnnnnggggggg. 



This is Ben's best friend, Tommy (aka the token black dude).

If I ever tried to rock this outfit that Tommy's wearing, Chicken would probably kick me right in the nips. This past weekend, I actually went and bought a pair of those non-baggy jeans that everyone's wearing these days and I feel so self-conscious walking around in 'em. They're slim, and they're straight and my dork presses right up against the front. I kinda love 'em.  


This was Tommy before he was famous (not that he's now that famous, but he's more famous than you are. Not that being famous is important, but it does bring with it a nice paycheck and when you have a nice paycheck you can buy cocaine and then you can have sex with women. So that's nice for him.) It's amazing what a pair of glasses, an afro and a Fox budget can do for a person. It's also amazing when you walk into a meeting at work and all your female coworkers' eyes go straight to your dork.



This is Lucy Punch (real name). She plays BJ. You've probably seen her before in some stuff. She's British and OH MY GOD I ACTUALLY JUST LOOKED UP AT THIS PICTURE.

Now are you gonna watch?

THEY'RE EXPLODING.

Go ahead, I know you wanna. I know you wanna move closer to the screen to see if there's a potato nip slip.

(There's not. I just spent ohhhhhhhh, I dunno, ten minutes checking for some potatoes? There's none. Sad.)



Hellloooooooo PotatoNips.com!



Sad!


Bottom line: this show is definitely worth watching and Don Johns and Melanie Griffs definitely used to have Ken Burns-style four-hour bone-sessions.

Then again, I'm guessing that Antonio Banderas also knows his way around the boneyard -- so that's nice for Melanie.

HOW GOOD ARE POTATO CHIPS!!!






Potato chips seriously are amazing. My favourites are the Grandma Utz jawns. Ben and Kate airs at 8:30 on Tuesdee nights on Fox (so it's on tonight!). You can watch clips of the show above (or click this and this), or just watch the friggin' show! Orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, just look at this Far Side cartoon that pretty much gets me every time. That's what I'd do.

21 comments:

  1. This is a cry for help, right? We're here for you Ev! Call me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My cellphone does pretty much everything except make phone calls. It never works!

      Delete
  2. Also, I do not watch Ben and Kate, but no one told me there was a slutty female character (with possible potato nips) named BJ. Changes everything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Listen Kunklestein, you are already my best friend in this world ... if you ALSO watch Ben and Kate YOU MAY BE THE FRONTRUNNER FOR TVMWW'S COMMENTER OF THE YEAR.

      HOW ABOUT THATTTTTTTTTTT

      Delete
    2. Total noob question: does your worf ever comment on the blog? Don't want to steal her (likely) commenter of the year status.

      Delete
    3. My worf DOES occasionally comment (sometimes under her birth name "Catherine" and sometimes under her non-birth name "Dar"), usually to yell at me for making up something negative about her, but sometimes to ask me what we should have for dinner.

      She will NOT be winning commenter of the year this year, NOR WILL LAST YEAR'S WINNER, PHILLY PHOODIE, who is a total butthead.

      Delete
    4. For a full list of last year's award winners, go here:

      http://tvmywifewatches.blogspot.com/2011/12/2011-year-in-review-top-14-shows-and.html

      Also, it's basically just you and me here, huh Kunker?

      Delete
  3. That is Melanie Griffs in that pic. Wow, they were both so cute when they were young. They were my favoUrite glamoUrous yoUng coUple of Uniform coloUr (mixed race coUple winner goes to Peggy Lipton and Quincy Jones).

    I'm still lukewarm on this show but I do find Dakota Johnson appealing. Do you remember her as Girl Who Boned Justin Timberlake in The Social Network?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I DO remember her. She was wearing those little red Stanford underwears and she made me wonder why I spent all of college taking naps and not inventing Napster.

      Also, how bout Sara Circs making a late push for Commenter of the Year!!! I dunno, lady, WHERE WERE YOU IN APRIL? AND WHERE'S AMERICAN BRIDGET JONES AT???

      Delete
  4. hi monitor

    dick here. gonna watch this show tonight. if it blows, i hate you. im sick as can be, jewish baby style. bout to eat some chicken noods, thats how you KNOW its serious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dickdog, I honestly feel so much presh before tonight's ep.

      Hope you like it, hope you feel better and I really really really hope you don't win our fantasy football ligg. WHY WOULD I TRADE YOU CJ SPILLZY???

      Delete
  5. Umm, I might be late to the dance, but I wanted to say thanks for the shoutout monn. I have never seen Ben and Kate, but I would be willing to give it a go based on your recommendashe. However, I will never watch that piece of garbage Bachelor/Bachelorette. Happy Thanksgiving!
    -Rod Roddy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AND THAT'S WHY YOU'LL NEVER CONTEND FOR COMMENTER OF THE YEAR.

      But thanks for thanking me ... kind of amazed that there are NO COMMENTS on the Air Dog post!!! ... I FELT IT WAS MY BEST WORK.

      Delete
    2. Air Dog post? Missed it. Totally loved the Bark Dog post though.

      Delete
  6. Evan I ALWAYS watch the videos you post. And the last sentence of every blorg with a link to a funny pic is my fave. Can we nominate ourselves for poster of the year? (My friend wants to know...)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OH and once, when you posted on twitter that only like 29 people had viewed a post, I went and clicked on the article like 10 times to make you feel better. I think that pretty much confirms my status for best commenter ever.

      Delete
    2. I like your initiative, Goheels. You're absolutely nominated.

      The best way to win commenter of the year is through the ancient art of bribery. Do you have paypal? I do.

      Delete
  7. Hey Evan,

    Would love to see you review Girls when it returns for season 2.
    Also, do you have an Instagram?

    Amy in Australia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anythang for my followers from Oz!

      And I don't have Instagram, but my friend has a tumblr called Finstagram where he posts pictures of sharks.

      Check it, check it outttttttt: http://itsfinstagram.tumblr.com/

      Delete
  8. We love you and your innocents.DAkota Johnsnon is a very nice casting choice for Anastasia Steele in Fifty Shades of Grey.
    Movie Fifty Shades

    ReplyDelete
  9. Nice Video thanks for sharing!!!
    Dakota Johnson is perfect for Anastasia Steele.
    The Movie Fifty Shades Of Grey

    ReplyDelete