Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Wednesday's Wifey: Mindy Kaling

Oh, aren't you just the ...

A Wednesday Wifey on an actual Wednesday! Although technically she's not married and you may not be reading this on Wednesday ... but at least she doesn't suck!

Let's get to know Mindy Kaling -- from The Office (U.S.) and The Mindy Project -- this week's Wednesday Worfley!

Quick side bar: How annoying is it when people (like me) have to refer to The Office (U.S.) as "The Office (U.S.)"? It's like, can't we just say "The Office"? Nooooo, we're so proud of the fact that we've seen the U.K. version that we can't help ourselves from mentioning how friggin' awesome we are. 

God, I hate myself.


Young Mindy kind of looks like a cheesebuger. And I recognize that that doesn't really make sense, but doesn't she kind of look like a cheeseburger???

Mindy's parents are from India (shocker) and her birth name is actually Vera Chokalingham (Vera is the name of the incarnation of a Hindu goddess), but her folks wanted to also give her a cute American name and they liked the show Mork and Mindy, so boom-shakalaka, they named her Mork. But then they didn't like the fact that Mork rhymes with Vlork (which in Hindu means "rape"), so they changed it to Mindy. (Obviously part of this is true (source: Wikipedia) and part of it is not (source: The Source), but the fact remains that I am now craving a cheeseburger.)

What does my little cheeseburger have with her?!

Is that a turkey? A gopher? Only a turkgopher could distract us from that cute little cheeseburger and her absolutely adorable cheeseburger cheeks. I just wanna gobble her up! (The cheeseburger, not the turkgopher. The turkgopher looks gross. I'm not nibbling on him. No disrespect to Mr. Turkgopher, he's very cute and furry and I love him, but he's gross.)

All right, this is probably racist, but does my grown up cheeseburger look a little bit like Afghan Girl from National Geograph? No, she doesn't, does she? She doesn't really look anything like her. I mean, there couldn't be two people who look less like each other.

These two on the other hand ...

No idea where I'm goin' with this.

Have you ever seen a softer clavicle???

So now Mindy has a new show -- The Mindy Project -- that she writes, produces and stars in. The basic gist is: Mindy's an O.B.G.Y.N. (and works with these other dudes), but is still the same flighty, girly, cheeseburgy lady that we know and love. I saw the pilot episode and thought it was brilliant. I also think this beaver, duck, platypus Venn diagram below is brilliant, too. 

Also the instruments!

Also the instruments! 

Oh, and Ned Ryerson's in the show, too!

Probably seen Groundhog Day 400 times, but never noticed how soft the lining of Ned's coat is. That's a nice coat. I bought a coat last year (like a coat-coat, a grownup's coat) and it absolutely changed my life. Anytime anyone ever saw me in it, they'd be like, "Wow, Ev, nice coat." and I'd be like, "Yeah, I know. It changed my life." and they'd be like, "You know you still have visible boogers hangin' out your nose, right?" and I'd be like, "Yep!"

This really is the dumbest blog in the world.

Mindy does it all. Besides writing for The Office (U.S.) and now her own show, she also wrote a book about girl stuff. In it she talks about the top 15 things that women love and men hate:

"Men tend to not understand or like sequins very much. Men don't like the wedge shoe. I have noticed men don't tend to like the statement necklace or chunky tribal jewelry. These are all the things by the way that I love ... In the Venn diagram of things that men hate for women to wear and the things that I love to wear, is almost a full overlap … which is unfortunate for me."

So let's talk about wedges.

Not wedge salads (amazing), wedge shoes. 

Yo, ladies of TVMWW: I want you to listen up. So put down your little caramel mocha turkgopher latte and pay attention ...

Wedges are HORRIBLE.


They're ugly, clunky and are made of wicker. Nothing should be made of wicker. My cousin's dog Barkley once ate a wicker chair and yelped the most horrific yelps when he shat it out later that night. I know, I know, "Wedges are practical and easier to walk in than heels," and I'm sure they are, but when you see a group of 36 teenage girls on the Ocean City boardwalk stumbling around in wedges, that's when you know it's time to reevaluate the way you're doing things.

Want further proof?

And she's my favourite!

(By the by, check out bull in the back ... not the brother who's workin' security ... the white dude in the winter coat taking a snapshot! ... Nice snapper!)

Pound for pound, hairiest man in the world?

And are they going double-bubble nip-clips?

They totally are!

Two things: 1) You can listen to a great interview with Mindy Kaling on Fresh Air, here. 2) You can also listen to an interview with Ned Ryerson, here. He recently wrote a hilarious-sounding book about being the actor who is the absolute lowest man on the totem pole. Orrrrrrrrrrrrr, you could look at this picture of Afghan Girl taken 17 years after they first photographed her. They searched for her and found her in some hut eating a shoe or something. You can read it here. So I guess that's four things. Don't say I never gave you nothin'.


  1. God this blog just gets worse and worse. Can we take an overplayed character from The Office and make her a doctor? Genius!

  2. It's actually a really funny show and you're a dickbag. But thanks for reading! Let's get lunch one of these days!

  3. Why don't you do a post of your other "can't miss" new shoes. Err shows. OMG "The New Normal" is soooo good. Yes, let's get lunch. No tuna melts from Little Pete's.

    1. Let it be known that on my summer break from college I worked in the women's shoe section of Macy's and it was the greatest summer of my life.

      Later, my buddy Abu got me transferred to the furniture section and I pretended to be excited about it, but secretly I wanted to be back with the shoes.


  4. He's not kidding. About any of it. Heels are way sexier than wedges but what are your thoughts on the ol' espadrille? I think a sick fuck like you might dig the whole tied up the ankle jawn.
    Ps she looks EXACTLY like a cheeseburg!!! Great call for a total douche.

    1. Is espadrille a drug? Taken for anxiety? As gay as I am, I don't know what you're talking about.

  5. Ok Evster, I watched the Mindy Project on Hulu last night....within the confines of my bed, my 3 dogs sprawled all over me and watched it on my laptop to boot. I'm pathetic as they get. Not my fav show ever, but the best line of the entire show was this:

    MINDY: I mean my body mass index isn't great, but I'm not Precious or anything.

    Shit just got real there. I might have laughed and spilled out the warm milk I was drinking in bed. or not.

    1. That's not pathetic! That's the American dream!

      Also, it's amazing that you drink warm milk before bed ... who are you, Beatrix Potter?

      (no idea what that means.)

    2. Truth be told...I haven't had a glass of milk since I was 18 on the eve of my first day as a college student Couldn't stand the stuff growing up and my p'rents made my ass drink it every single night at supper. On special occasions (the collapse of the Commie wall and Easter Sunday) was I allowed to mix chocolate into it. Stuff grosses me out and even to this day I only use Coffeemate in my coffee cuz milk is for my niece who is nursing, not for moi.

    3. Have you ever (as an adult) tried breast milk? Be honest! Human breast milk! Anyone? Bueller?

      (I have not, but would not be opposed to it!)

    4. I tried my own. (Which, I keep wondering, is that like self-cannibalism? Or is it just like eating your own boogers? And if I sustained myself entirely on my own breast milk...what would happen? Would we go back in time or something?)

      I only tried a drop, though, because gross.

      My husband also tried it and so did my friend Ivy. I think my husband described it best - it's kind of sweet (sweeter than normal milk) and also kind of animal-y. Like, did you ever taste those potato chips that are fried in animal fat? They have this distinctly gamey edge. The breast milk kind of has that too. But you can see how it would be tasty to someone who has never tasted anything else other than amniotic fluid and formula.

      I talked about it for too long, didn't I?

    5. One of my favourite comments in the history of TV Me Weef Woochspliz.

      And I love those potato chips.