|Is that a bowl of french bread bits in front of them?|
Are they having fondue?
During halftime of this Sundee's Beagles-Giants game, my wife switched over to the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion show. Most dudes with chest hair would've freaked out, but I was okay with this, because:
A) I'm a loving husband who understands the importance of compromise.
B) My wife is a terrifying human being who runs our home with an iron fist.
C) It's very hard to change the channel when you're duct-taped to a leather chair and your wife has her foot on your throat while she's spitting on you (in a non-sexual way).
The show was totally bonkers and mainly consisted of different housewives getting into arguments with Teresa. I would've felt bad for Teresa, but she
Caroline's daughter calling Teresa a "dickhead"
Interesting word choice by Caroline's daughter, here. I don't know if I've ever heard a woman call another woman a dickhead before. I've certainly been called a dickhead before -- in fact I'm pretty sure that my wife called me a dickhead this morning -- but in my defense, deodorant and cream cheese look VERY similar.
Regardless, Teresa is definitely a dickhead.
Let's take a second though to break down the actual definition of a dickhead. A dickhead is a jerk, but not quite as malicious as an asshole. And when you call someone a dickhead you're also implying that they're kind of an idiot. For example:
"Hey, did you hear that Freddy cheated on his wife with his next door neighbor?" ... "Ugh, that guy is such an asshole."
"Hey, did you hear that Freddy got caught cheating on his wife because he was wearing his mistress's underwear?" ... "Ugh, that guy is such a dickhead."
So bravo, Caroline's daughter. Great use of your vocabulary.
Also, Jacqueline has nice breasts.
This part was actually kinda sad -- they showed a montage of Jacqueline's son that ended with him saying "I ruvv you" (and I mean that in a cute way, not in a that-kid-can't-talk-for-shit kinda way). Then Jacqueline and (ESPECIALLY) Boom Boom started WAILING and Boom Boom yelled "HE'LL DO IT AGAIN! HE'LL DO IT AGAIN, JACQUELINE!" and no one knew what the hell she was talking about and then she explained that the kid has recently regressed and now he really can't talk for shit. Regardless, it was sort of hilarious in a that-woman-is-out-of-her-mind-she-would-get-along-great-with-homeless-people kinda way.
It should also be noted that after the montage I looked over to my wife who was crying, too. She tried to cover it up ("I'm not crying. Why would you think I was crying?"), but the tears dripping down her face onto the cellphone held against her chest was a dead giveaway. Then she got up and inconspicuously tried to drop her dripping wet cellphone into a bag of rice, which made me think: when are we going to stop thinking of rice as food and start thinking of it as a cellphone accessory? I mean, do people even eat rice, anymore? There's really no reason to keep it in the pantry -- we should just stick bags of rice in our drawers with the rest of our electronics that we hold onto in case of an emergency (old chargers, camera chords, cream cheese deodorant, etc.).
|Young (and sort of really cute!) dickhead.|
Rosie freaking out backstage a la Latrell Sprewell
I don't even know what the freak happened here, I was too busy trying to tweet about Kathy's new nose job, but apparently at the end of the episode Teresa said something about Kathy's (and Rosie's) dad that made Rosie (who was backstage in a
Boy, I sure did use a lot of parentheses in this blorgpost.
(Please kill me.)
(My fantasy football team is terrible.)
(My armpits also never stop sweating.)
(This is no way to live.)
(They honestly never stop sweating.)
Tonight is the first presidential debate. I'd tell you to follow me on Twitter so we could chat in real time, but my wife recently yelled at me for tweeting too much while we're hanging out (forcing me to go to the bathroom to tweet) so instead I'll just tell you to look at this amazing amazing amazing picture of Mitt Romney. Also, my wife is NOT going to be happy that I mentioned that she put the kibosh on my tweeting. She's really a VERY lovely person! And a great cook! And a terrific dancer! And a great baby-holder after a circumcision!