Friday, May 4, 2012

Please Pack Your Things and Gonads -- Chris Harrison and Wife Divorcing

Shocking that a guy who wore a t-shirt under a blazer would get a divorce.


People mag (aka my favorite periodical to read before getting my molars scraped with an iron hook) is reporting that Chris Harrison and his wife, Somebody, are getting a divorce.

Some may be saddened to hear this news, but we at TVMWW (there's no "we" is there?) are very, very, very excited. Who will Chris Harrison bed next? January Jones? Tommie Lee Jones? John Stossel?

Let's go back in the TVMWW vault and check out a Wednesday Wifey from February of last year, all about Chris Harrison's soon-to-be-ex-wizzle:

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Heaven's Rain total box office gross: $48

EVSTER'S NOTE: This jawn was originally posted on 2/23/11, way back when we thought this lovely couple would be together foreverrrrrrrrrrrr.

This week's Wednesday Wifey is Gwen Harrison, trophy wife of Bachelor host, Chris Harrison aka The Least Hardest Working Man In Showbiz.

One would assume that the diminutive host of The Bach would've nabbed his blonde bomber of a wife after his rise to fame, BUT NO, the couple are actually high school sweethearts. Other than that, there is verrrrrry little information out there on Gwen, but after doing some secret sniffing on her Twitter account, I now feel as if I have enough information to write this blog post and/or a feature article for USA Today.

I've been known to do some sniffing from time to time.

Based on Gwen's tweets, it seems as if she lives a total life of luxury, accompanying her husband all over the country to attend movie premieres (G-Force), television tapings (Iron Chef) and dinner parties with white people (The Firestones). She's also a Cowboys fan, reads the Twilight books and does not tweet pictures of her titties and/or thongs on Tuesdays or Thursdays. In other words, she is LAME.

I imagine that Chris Harrison is only with her because of her rock hard right nipple. Picture below.

Zoinks!

4 comments:

  1. Bet he lands one of the Bach contestants next...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who will SHE end up with? Brad Picklesimes? Jake? Viennnnnaaaaaaa?

      Delete
  2. THANK YOU! for reminding me that Coco is THE BEST person on Twitter, ever. I just spent the better half of the hour on her WhoSay.com page (whatever that is). UHmazing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NOW CAN YOU START WORKING ON SOME TVMWW ARTWORK?!?!?

      THIS CONTEST IS FLYING BY WITHOUT YOU!

      COCO'S ASS IS INSANNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE.

      Delete