Monday, March 26, 2012

Mad Men: Jim Nantz and Clark Kellogg Break Down Don and Megan Draper's Sexcapade

Get over yourself, lady. 

In honor of March Madness, I’ve asked my good friends Jim Nantz and Clark Kellogg to give their thoughts on last night’s Don Draper/Megan sexcapade.

JIM NANTZ: Thanks Ev. Well Clark, despite the 17-month layoff, Don Drapes went right back to work with a vintage Draper-Destroy-job.

CLARK KELLOGG: He certainly did, Jim. The guy is a consummate pro. At first when Megan refused to let him have his way, he seemed to be a little off his game, but then he took over like only Double D can.

JIM NANTZ: Nice gameplan by the young Mrs. Draper though, trying to tease and taunt the 40-year-old veteran.

CLARK KELLOGG: I certainly enjoyed it, Jim. When the sex scene started off, I thought it was a great strategy for her to just put her butt in the air and make Don watch. In fact, I would’ve liked for her to hold out longer than 15 seconds. Seemed like she had Don on the ropes for a sec. But Don Draper doesn’t sit back in a zone and watch, Jim. He attacks.

JIM NANTZ: And attack he did. Surprised that he went with the hair-pull, Clark?

CLARK KELLOGG: Not at all. That’s a Draper trademark. He’s been utilizing that move for years on school-teachers, heroin addicts, you gotta wonder why more young fellas are not adding that move to their tool box. I think the only one who ever defended and shut down Don’s hair-pullage was the former Mrs. Draper. And look where that got her.

JIM NANTZ: Ya think the new Mrs. Draper will last, Clark?

CLARK KELLOGG: Well, she’s got moves Jimbo. She showed that last night by getting Don into a Louisiana Leg-Wrap. That’s a lot harder than it looks. And the whole “Zou-bisou bisou” thing was unlike anything else we’ve ever seen.

JIM NANTZ: I think she’s got no chance. Well, that’s it from out here at the Midwest regional. Let’s send it back to the Evster at the TV My Wife Watches studio.

EVSTER: Actually, you guys are doing a pretty good job, I’d like to keep this going. Please, continue.

JIM NANTZ: You got it, Kevin. Clark, I’ll tell ya one guy who would’ve loved to sit back and watch Megan Draper go to work … Lane.

CLARK KELLOGG: He’s a dirty dog, Jim. But we knew that already. Remember, this is the same guy that went after that black chick at the Playboy club.

JIM NANTZ: You can’t find that in England.

CLARK KELLOGG: Actually, you can. But there is definitely something different about a black chick from America and a black chick from Britain.

JIM NANTZ: Tell me about them, Clark. I’ve only dated white women.

CLARK KELLOGG: You haven’t lived, Jim.

JIM NANTZ: I know I haven’t.

Look how wrinkled that guy's pants are behind them!

Betty don't play.

More to come later from TVMWW regarding last night's premiere of Mad Men ... I just wanted to get something posted as soon as poss, because my friend Loaves chastised me this morning -- saying, "Nobody is gonna care by tomorrow. This is the internet!"


  1. I missed the episode last night as I had company in town and they were more interested in watching the Donald and his useless cast of left-over celebs on Celeb Apprentice. Gag me with a silverware setting, but I'll catch it later this week. 17 months is a long time to wait to see who Don will pounce on next. And Joan...oh Roger...oh Joan...


  2. Finally! It's been 17 months since we've had some TVMWW MM coverage!


      LADY: Honey, I was thinking of maybe making us TV dinners tonight.

      MAN: TV dinners? TVMWWMM!!

  3. I invented the Louisiana Leglock

    1. C'mon AF, that move's been around since the cavemen!

      That's like me saying I invented the hair-pull ... and for the record, I did invent a move called the Louisiana Hair-Pull where I pull my wife's hair with my legs. It's a terrible move, but it's still a move.

    2. Itty bitty bean bag BillyMarch 28, 2012 at 11:06 PM

      I like to have my leg hairs pulled in the bedroom.

    3. I'm honored that you feel comfortable enough to share that on TVMWW.

      I'm also grossed out ... more by your login name than your sexual fetishes.