Thursday, December 6, 2012

TVMWW T-Shirts - a Perfect Holiday Gift for Someone You Sorta Care About who Also Likes Television

Wrinkles included!

Bing and bong!

Get your official TV My Wife Watches t-shirts pronto! (that's Spanish for "flonto!")

There's all sorts of shirts: large ones, small ones, other sized ones, even small ones! Check it out and buy one today! ... (you can't actually buy one today) ... so buy one some other day!



Each t-shirt comes hand drawn by yours truly, so they're truly one-of-a-kind, truly! lol smdh brb!

I'm back!

YOU CAN BE THE ONLY ONE ON YOUR BLOCK WITH A SHITTY HAND DRAWN T-SHIRT! ... Unless you live on one of those blocks where little kids are constantly making their own t-shirts ... THEN YOU CAN BE THE ONLY ONE ON YOUR BLOCK WHO KILLS A CHILD!


These are the markers I use. They're not bad!



Each TVMWW t-shirt also comes with a special, personalized message on the sleeve (or anywhere else I wanna put it). This shirt was made for @AngieFenton who's from Louisville, Kentucky (yeah, people actually live there!). Angie won TVMWW's first t-shirt giveaway contest on Twitter last month. "Never Nervous" is a reference to Never Nervous Pervis Ellison who led the Louisville Cardinals to the 1986 NCAA national championship. I'm not sure if Angie knows this -- and I don't care! I also think she stopped following me on Twitter! So I really don't care!


This is Pervis.



This shirt was made for my friend Louize. One day when my friends and I went out orienteering (that's a thing), I told everyone that the first person who spotted a woodchuck would get a free TVMWW t-shirt.



That's blood on the remote.


The sleeve says @MrsHart06, Louize's Twitter handle.



If blood dripping doesn't get you into the shopping spirit, check out this holiday display in the lobby of my office.

"Hey boss, where you want this miniature Jewish candle thing?" ... "I don't care, stick it on that box next to the enormous tree. And drape a towel over the box."



This jawn was made for Louize's husband, Hart. The two of them live in Belmont Hills, PA -- actually a place! 


Extra wrinkles for Hart!



The back!  


And if tshirts aren't your thing, get yourself an I'm Sergio VIP Discount Card from my buddy Serge's men's hair salon.

He gave me this VIP card when I got a cut -- but also told me not to tell anyone when he gave it to me. 

LAST, BUT CERTAINLY, CERTAINLY NOT LEAST -- MY FATHER ALSO MAKES T-SHIRTS

My father is ALSO in the tshirt biz. His whole schtick is that he will make you ANY t-shirt you want. Literally, he'll make you ANY t-shirt. For example, if you want a t-shirt with a picture of a baby that says "I love eating lettuce!" he'll make that for ya. I'm telling you, ANY shirt.

If you don't have an idea for a shirt of your own, my dad also sells ones that he's made, like these:


And my personal favourite:



So I guess you're holiday shopping is done-zo!

No need to thank me, just buy some shit when I actually figure out how to work paypal!

If you're interested in buying one, email me or leave a comment and we'll figure this isht out! I think I'm gonna charge 15 bones for these ... and I'm gonna make other ones ... like maybe a baby that loves eating lettuce.

This is a terrible marketing plan!

Happy Frogbutt!

13 comments:

  1. Three t-shirt requests already via email and I'm not yoking!

    This is going to be the happiest holiday seez yet -- Santa can suck my crank -- that mofo has gone 34 years without bringing me jack!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just read Morty Monsky's blog. It's way better than this one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. READING THE TAG ON MY SWEATER IS BETTER THAN THIS BLOG.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was on a highschool dance team. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY HAND MADE TSHIRTS I HAVE?

    ReplyDelete
  5. I DON'T BUT COULD YOU PLEASE ATTACH PICTURES OF YOUR DANCE TEAM IT'S FOR A FRIEND

    ReplyDelete
  6. VANNA WHITE GET SERIOUS T-SHIRT PLEASE. I'LL TAKE 3000.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Done and done!

      Expect delivery in late Spring, 2016!

      Delete
  7. The best gift Rachel Co ever got!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. THIS IS AN ACTUAL TESTIMONIAL FROM AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER GOD BLESS YOU KIM GOD BLESS

      Delete
  8. I got excited when I saw another "Raymond" in the comment section until I realized it was me....FROM LAST YEAR. The fuck, man?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I recycled this isht because I'M FRIGGIN' BUSY OKAY and I wanted to SELL SOME GODDAMN TSHIRTS and start rollin in the dough like my main man John Buccigross!!!

      Delete
  9. Amazing! This blog looks exactly like my old one!
    It's on a totally different topic but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Outstanding choice of colors!
    Also see my site: click the up coming website page

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is really an awesome update and such a creative work in my opinion,I must say.
    http://www.apparelnbags.com/champion/index.htm

    ReplyDelete