Sunday, November 20, 2011

So I Tried To Talk To My Wife About Maksim Chmerkovskiy and His Attitude Problem

Thinking about getting a scarf this winter.

Earlier today, Us Weekly tweeted that "Hothead" Maksim Schmerkobskiebs had angered the Dancing With the Stars cast and crew this season with his overall poor attitude (pronounced AT-TEE-TOOD).

And because I share similar thoughts about my wife (who LOVES Maks), I figured I'd ask TVMWW's muse about everyone ripping into her favorite Ukranian Beau Hunk. We met in our kitchen while she unpacked some groceries and I followed her around with a clipboard.

Me:  So Dar, what time do you think you're gonna want dinner?

My Wife:  Pretty soon, I'm really hungry. 

Me:  (trying to write stuff down)

My Wife:  Are you writing this down?

Me:  (still trying to write stuff down)

My Wife:  Are you writing th...

Me:  So everyone's all upset with Maks, and you like the guy, but what do you like about him besides his good looks and sexy dance moves?

My Wife:  What else do you need?

Me:  Well it's just that ...

My Wife:  I mean, he's not my husband. He's just a guy I like on TV.

Me:  What about the fact that he's a jerk?

My Wife:  I don't think he's a jerk. I think he's just misunderstood.

Misunderstood his hairstylist.

Me:  You seem to have a habit of liking dudes that are misunderstood. Like Latrell Sprewell, and ... well, like Latrell Sprewell. Why do you think you gravitate to dudes like that?

My Wife:  Well, I think it's the whole, "Don't tell me what to do" thing. I'll like who I wanna like. And it's only a negative for Maks when his attitude gets in the way.

Me:  So always.

My Wife:  Unfortunately, I think his partners are often viewed less favorably because they're attached to him. Which is difficult because it's a contest. And it shouldn't be about him. But he has a point! I mean, he hasn't had bad partners, but when Derek got Jennifer Grey, I think he got Kirstie Alley. I mean, Dirty Dancing, y'know?

Me:  Yeah, but Derek has Ricki Lake now. And she's from Chubbsville.

My Wife:  It's not about being from Chubbsville.

Me:  Maks had Hope Solo. And she's a professional athlete.

My Wife:  Yeah, you'd think she would've been better.

Me:  Are you eating cashews?

My Wife:  Yeah.

Me:  Gimme some.

At this point, my wife kept talking, but I was eating a lot of cashews and got really thirsty. Then I made a smoothie. And then for some reason my wife started singing "My Prerogative" by Bobby Briz.

So there's the first TVMWW post in the last ten days.

Dancing With the Stars ends this week with a 2-part finale Mondee and Tuesdee. You can watch it on ABC. Or you can watch the 2-part documentary about Woody Allen tonight and tomorrow on PBS. Check out this pic of the Wood-Man in high school. Or look at this woodchuck eating an apple.


  1. i love the play by play of your convos with Darrie. I picture the whole thing - it's amazing. Ev, are you misunderstood do ya think?

  2. I think it's perfectly understood that I'm very difficult to live with.