Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Wednesday's Wifey: That 16-year-old Who Married Some Dude From Lost

Wedding bells are ringing! ... Or is that the bell for 4th period?

In case you missed it, word came out this week that some 51-year-old dude from Lost, Doug Hutchinson, married a 16-year-old girl. The girl, Courtney Stodden, is a former beauty queen and aspiring country singer. This is her 36th marriage.

Now listen, I'm not in the business of telling people what they can and can't do, I'm in the business of eating fried chicken - so I'm not gonna criticize - not until I've done my research on this Courtney Stodden character. So let's check out this week's Wednesday Wifey and analyze her website's photo gallery.

Here's a lovely picture of the happy couple sniffing each other - pretty standard as far as wedding pics go. You can really tell they're in love by the way they're sniffing. There's also a good chance that Hutchinson is popping the biggest boner of his life. God bless him.

Here's Courtney posing with literally the saddest and oldest clown ever. I'm guessing that just seconds after this photo was taken, that poor clown dropped dead. Seriously, is that Kirk Douglas? Also look closely at Courtney's left hand on her hip, particularly her fingers. She's saying, "I'm elegant, but I may also fingerbang myself at any moment."

Awww man, Courtney made a wrong turn on the PCH and now she's somehow ended up driving her convertible onto the beach. Thank gawd those young Bolivian waiters are there to help her. Not to mention, former Romanian gymnast, Nadia Boobenskya. 

How happy is THIS guy?! But is he more excited to meet Courtney, or to have just copped her new CD, Now That's What I Call a Plaid Shirt Vol. 19?

This dude is a HUGE Courtney Stodden fan. He even wore his favorite Alfani shirt to meet her.

And here's Alfani's home office. Totally normal!

Oh, hello there. Just standing next to this wall, holding onto this thin copper wire for balance. Not that big of a deal. Where is she?! Samuel Gompers High School?

Now that is hardly appropriate attire for a boat ride.

Ohhhhh, baby! Forget about Courtney and her ENORMOUS guitar - how about Dean Bunkers! What does HIS wife look like? Check back next week to find out.


  1. I think this is my favorite post of yours. Samuel Gomps!! Alfani shirts!! Brilliant!

  2. oh dear me. in her wedding pictures she's wearing a clear bra strap with a strapless dress. that is tackier than all the other pictures combined. that girl needs a stylist, like, yesterday.

  3. I'm having a great time.

  4. Outstanding post!! I enjoyed myself reading this post!! good job!! :D