Thursday, June 9, 2011

Guest Post! - Wednesday's Wifey: Weiner's Wife - WingWong!


They sort-of have the same haircut.

Evster's note: The following is a guest post from Aubre aka ThriftyRitts aka Miss Ocean Cits. Aubre volunteered to write this week's Wednesday Wifey - and even though I really like Aubre, this makes me REALLY NERVOUS. I am very possessive of my blog-blog, so throughout the post, I will be chiming in via blue italics. All right, here we go.

Hey guys, it’s me, Aubre, from Thrifty Rittenhouse and @ThriftyRitts with your "Wifey Wednesday" post—a day late and $200 dollars short (I’ve spent a LOT of money on beer this week). Today I’ll be discussing Huma Abedin, disgraced wife of Congressman Anthony Weiner, who just so happens to be 3 months pregnant!

It's "Wednesday's Wifey," not "Wifey Wednesday" ... Strike one! 

That's like the messiest room I've ever seen. Doesn't this lady clean?!?!

This is a classic case of a man marrying up. Huma is an Arab-American born to an Indian father and Pakistani mother, both of whom are accomplished scholars. She started her career in politics as White House intern in 1996 and is currently one of Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton’s aides. Not to mention the fact that she’s absolutely beautiful. Weiner was born in Brooklyn and his father’s name is Mort. Fucking Mort!!!

Let it be known, my father's name is Mort. I'm not even yoking. I don't think Aubre knew this. 

In the past week we’ve learned that Weiner has been partaking in salacious online relationships with a number of women—just your average porn star, blackjack dealer, single mom etc.—including steamy text conversions, and twit pics of his knob. Many of his online girlfriends have confirmed that their cyber-relationships started off with simple conversation starters like “you’re hot” or “wow what a stud.”
Is that honestly all it takes to seduce a man!? I’ve been trying to figure out men for SO LONG. A little bit of leg but not too much. Let him know you’re smart but also a little vulnerable. When he walks you home, just pop your nipple out for a second. Easy on the fart jokes. And all this time, the only thing I've ever had to do is say "Wow, you're hot"!?


I mean look at this woman! She is high-fashion, exotic, enviably thin! And, somehow, that's not enough for a big prick like Weiner.

Once again, stuff all over the place!

This Weiner guy's face looks like he's battling some vicious intestinal issues. Also, have you seen his dick pic!? I'm pretty much a dick pic expert and I think he focused a little too much on the balls. Then again, I'm not a ball-man.

I am nothing else, if not a ball-man.

That neck cleavage is certainly something.

I mean, the guy does have a pretty strong Kelly Ripa-esque jawbone. I'll give him that.

Yeah, those are vicious intestinal issues.

Well done Thrifty Ritts! Delegating responsibility is the best. Now mow my lawn!

2 comments:

  1. Chillaxinate wasn't even in this post!

    That's what happens when you comment at 12:06AM!!!

    ReplyDelete