Sunday, March 27, 2011

DWTS: Photos of Stars Who May or May Not Be Dancing With People Who Are More Famous Than Them

This picture is for my wife. You're welcome Dar Dar.

I fell asleep during last week's season premiere of Dancing With the Stars, but not before hearing Tom Bergeron pronounce Ralph Macchio's first name, "Rowlf," like the piano playing Muppet dog.

Quick thoughts on this year's participants:

People I Like or Once Liked

Kirstie Alley: Loved her on Cheers, not sure what she's been doing since, and I think her hair looks really really clean in the picture above. 

Ralph Macchio: Loved him in The Outsiders, not sure what he's been doing since, but I think he once played a Chinese kid in some movie about Chinese food.

Sugar Ray Leonard: Loved him when I got one of those Sugar Ray punching bags as a kid, not sure what he's been doing since, and I'm pretty sure that's a fake belt he's wearing in that picture.

People That Are Okay, I Guess, And I Could Possibly Grow to Like Them

Kendra Wilkinson: Never found her that attractive, but she does have a pretty decent and silly personality. Husband is a terrible football player and not quite sure what she's doing with her feet up there. Is that the "flutter-foot"?

Petra Nemcova: I sort of find her attractive, but the fact that she broke her hip in a Tsunami is the least surprising thing I've ever heard. Also, executing the "flutter-foot" much better than Kendra. A true professional.

Hinds Ward: Never had him on my fantasy team, which is mind-blowing because I'm pretty sure I drafted Hank Baskett a few years ago. Obviously loves Chinese food as evidenced by picture above.

Evster's note: Apparently his name is actually "Hines." I don't know why I thought it was "Hinds," probably because I'm an idiot. Thanks to "Nathan" for pointing this out in the comments section, the 947th time he's ever corrected me.

Romeo: I find this picture to be absolutely hilarious, so I now kinda like him. Would KILL to have a mustache like that. Probably a better wide receiver than Hank Baskett.

Chelsea Kane: Has probably never met a black person.

People That Seem Really Really Annoying

Chris Jericho: I hate white people.

Wendy Williams: Cried like 7 times on the first episode. Probably the worst dancer I've ever seen.

The Reason I Watch This Show (Or At Least the Reason I Tell People Why I Watch This Show)

Anna Trebunskaya: Nobody "flutter-foots" like the Russians.


  1. I've seen it spelled "Hines" and occasionally "Kinds" Ward. "Hinds," though, I think is a World War II-Era bomber plane. Which when you think about it would be a cool nickname for Kinds Ward if he was a quarterback. Or Chinese.

  2. How good was Hires Root Beer?

  3. Hines is in the pic with his mom who is Korean.
    do a little research.

  4. Clearly you don't quite understand what goes on here at TV My Wife Watches.

  5. Hines Ward's mother is KOREAN, not Chinese, and the dress they are both wearing in the photo is KOREAN, not Chinese. So why, exactly, would the photo make you think he likes Chinese food?

  6. Because it's a FUCKING JOKE in reference to the PRIOR FUCKING JOKE about Ralph Macchio ALSO liking Chinese food because he is A FUCKING KARATE MASTER.

  7. Chinese, Korean, Thai, Mexian-- all the same as far as I'm concerned. Speaking of which, WHO LOVES TACOS!?!?!?

  8. Also, what in that picture makes you think Hines Ward DOESN'T love Chinese food?

  9. It's not chinese food, it's Korean, b/c his mother is KOREAN. different country, same continent. Kinda like Germany VS Ukranian. Get it?

  10. KOREAN YOU FUCKS. NOT CHINESE. Have a sense to go on wikipedia and look at traditional garb. YOU WHITE RACIST FUCKS

  11. not just white racist fucks, but IDIOT FUCKS. who can't unpack their white privilege and consider the rest of the world in their laundry list of shit to do, like watch shit TV. YOU FUCKING RACIST FUCKS.

  12. I still don't understand why Hines Ward can't like Chinese food. It's delicious!

    And why are you Anonymous? I mean, I understand for the whole mysterious poetry thing, but show yourself!

    Let's go get some Thai food together!

  13. Another thing I have trouble unpacking is my suitcase after a weekend trip. I'll honestly leave that thing filled with dirty clothes and toiletrees for weeks until I finally have the sense to go through it.

  14. Is Thai food the one that has Kung Pao? Because I really love spicy Korean food. And their sushi... MY GOD THEIR SUSHI. Delicious.