Saturday, March 5, 2011

Backlash From the TVMWW Header Contest!!

The submissions keep rolling in! This one courtesy of some crazy lady from Texas.

Following the recent (and VERY successful) TVMWW Header / Soup Contest, there were some MAJOR jabs thrown at Gabulous's winning submission by the fifth place finisher, Loaves.

The following are a series of text messages exchanged by me and Loaves from last week. Loaves is a professional artist / video editor who once spent $400 on a pen. I've also seen him yell at televisions on many many occasions. He may or may not currently be on prescription medication. 

Loaves: Your new header is terrible. You should have picked Law's.

Evster:  I disagree!! Law's was WEAK. I actually liked Dick Dog's the best.

Loaves: Dick's was by far the worst.

This was Dick Dog's.

Evster:  Well we're gonna have to disagree to disagree. 

Loaves: The one that's up there is a good idea, but whoever those stiffs are in the TVs look like they're on murder trial.

Evster:  It's the Bachelor's mugshot and the host of The Bach. The girl who made it said she'll change those pics on request (based on what show is hot at that particular mome).

Loaves: Those guys need to get outta there, but I do respect the idea that the header says, "Here's a super crappy photo, get ready to read about some super crappy TV shows."

Evster:  We're disagreeing to disagree!! It's a good picture! That lady is so happy to have two televisions.

Loaves: Horrible quality mashed jpeg. Hurts eyes and feelings. Old one was colorful and pleasant, and just the right amount of shafty.

This was the old one.

Evster:  Well, I had a contest and you sent me a green puke colored couch. 

Loaves's submission. This is supposed to be an artsy shot of a couch.

Loaves: Mine was a good design. Low profile to allow long posts. No shim sham. Law's is super gay and funny. I'm advocating Law's. But really, is it much of a contest when the winner gets ten votes?

Evster:   Those votes didn't count! I'm a dictator. I'm Gaddafi! I chose who I wanted!

Loaves: Then choose Dick's!

Evster:  Dick's will get some time up there, eventually. Law's wasn't good! Just a guy!

This was Law's ... just a guy!

Loaves: At least I can infer that that guy is The Bachelor. The current one gives me no help.

Evster:  It's not my fault you're outta touch!

Loaves: You're gonna lose casual clickers with this one. It's misleading and creepy. Law's is at least funny.

Evster:  How is Law's funny? It's just a guy!

Loaves: TV My Wife Watches. You're being made to sit through looking at this dildo pass around flowers.

Evster:  I actually don't think he's a dild.

Loaves: The dude looks like a dildo in that picture.

And that was the end. I think we know who the real dild is.

Gabulous, care to put in your two-thousand cents?

This was a header submitted by Schmoopie, who wrote the initial email lambasting my former header.


  1. couldn't agree more that a) the pictures of mr. pickles and c. harrison are creppy and b) dick dog's is the best and should be the header. Democracy sucks. Ev should overrule those dummies who picked Gabulous (sorry Gabulous).

  2. Let me make something clear, the votes didn't matter. That was just for fun, I picked Gabber's because I thought it was the best!!

    Although I sort of liked Dick Dog's a lot.

  3. Wait I am confused. I thought Loaves submission was an accident. I would think a professional artist would be able to come up with something other than bong smoke blown over split pea soup. Dick Dog's was certainly good, it would proudly hang on the fridge of the parents of a remedial middle school student. Obviously, if you don't know Chris Harrison, it's your own fault. With all of the time he spends hosting the Bachelor, he should be a household name.

  4. Also Rachel, he explicitly said it is NOT a democracy. I am glad you aren't doing my thinking for me.

  5. I am legitimately afraid to comment on here!

  6. Whoa, Thad S. going with the Charlie Sheen approach to blog commenting.

    How has no one commented on Schmoopie's submission at the end there? Just the letters going bonkers?!?!

    It's actually not horrible.

  7. I agree with Loaves/Rachel - Law's should go up now (2 weeks ago) until the Bach is over, then Dick Dog's should be used as the standard (my fav), then Gabulous's could be used during a "hot" show with the character's faces in the tv screens. When does Mad Men start? And what about True Blood????

  8. Crazy Lady from Texas has it right, actually. TVMWW exclusively features crazy / big-breasted / Playboy Supermodel physiques with The Bachelor and Housewives and Top Model, etc. Chris Farley in a dress could totally provide the requisite 180-degree keep-'em-guessing quality that any blog needs.

  9. Damn, I got back to the world of internet long after Charlie Sheen references became moot.

  10. I was trying to rise above by not commenting here, but after a long vacation from real life and blogs, I've decided that my header is def the best. Maybe I should have used a different font, but the reality of it is that Loaves is the sorest loser ever. Wipe those tears, put on a good face, and go sell your design skills to someone who could use them, someone like the Lane Twins.

    Too bad all of your readers had to gang(bang) up, take sides and make your executive decisions for you. I forget, whose blog is this again?

    Schmoopie is obviously some sort of mathematical genius and if it weren't for my header being the best, that jumble would def win in my books. Now THAT'S what I call a designer for hire!