Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Wednesday's Wifey: Gwen Harrison aka Sargent Snooze

Heaven's Rain total box office gross: $48

This week's Wednesday Wifey is Gwen Harrison, trophy wife of Bachelor host, Chris Harrison aka The Least Hardest Working Man In Showbiz.

One would assume that the diminutive host of The Bach would've nabbed his blonde bomber of a wife after his rise to fame, BUT NO, the couple are actually high school sweethearts. Other than that, there is verrrrrry little information out there on Gwen, but after doing some secret sniffing on her Twitter account, I now feel as if I have enough information to write this blog post and/or a feature article for USA Today.

I've been known to do some sniffing from time to time.

Based on Gwen's tweets, it seems as if she lives a total life of luxury, accompanying her husband all over the country to attend movie premieres (G-Force), television tapings (Iron Chef) and dinner parties with white people (The Firestones). She's also a Cowboys fan, reads the Twilight books and does not tweet pictures of her titties and/or thongs on Tuesdays or Thursdays. In other words, she is LAME.

I imagine that Chris Harrison is only with her because of her rock hard right nipple. Picture below.



  1. I can't believe it took you until 4:39 to squeeze this drivel out.

  2. That was 1:39 Pacific time!

    Also, I totally saw two chicks get into a wicked hair-pulling / fist fight on SEPTA today. Also, one of the chicks was pregnant with twins AND I'M NOT KIDDING!