Monday, February 7, 2011

Super Bowl Recap: From My Living Room Straight To The Toilet

Yes, Christina, do you have a question?

So my family came over for the big game last night and because my mom and brother don't EVER stop talking, I missed a lot of the ridiculous moments that people are talking about this morning (Christina Aguilera's anthem, Cameron Diaz feeding A-Rod, and the Puppy Bowl). Also, I spent much of the second quarter knuckle deep in my wife's buffalo chicken dip and pretty much zoned out the entire second half.

But all is okay in the world because Big Ben lost. All is not okay in my digestive system, but that's hardly surprising.

What is surprising is the fact that my mother talked for THREE STRAIGHT HOURS last night. I asked my Dad if she now lives in a cage because she was acting as if she hadn't seen another human being in a LONG time. We heard maybe three notes of Christina's anthem (which was enough to realize it was horrible), but were completely unaware that she skipped an entire verse thanks to my mom telling us about her friend Judy's daughter's husband's new real estate property in Doylestown. Later, when the Packers' defense was literally RUNNING BACK AN INTERCEPTION FOR A TOUCHDOWN, she and my brother were debating the best places to stay in New York's Hudson Valley. In need of a break, I ran to the kitchen for some Buffalo chicken dip and totally missed A-Rod's feeding.

I did however catch it on YouTube this morning and it was embarrassing! Watch A-Rod, Christina and a few ads at the end of this post.

That's a little Orville Redenbacher bow-tie!

Other exciting moments in TVMWW's living room last night were:

- My dad repeatedly asking when we were going to eat Key Lime Pie.

- My dad saying that reminded him of Sammy Davis Jr. ... (TWICE!)

- Fergie needs to just chill. I seriously don't know what she's doing with all those hand gestures. She needs to relax. 

- Favorite ads were the gross Doritos "Best Part" finger licker and the Darth Vader kid trying to use the force on a Volkswagon. Videos at end of post. Also, the Kim Kardashian Skechers' Shape-Ups ad was totally bonkers!

- Major bonkers hits for TVMWW as well You see, Blogspot allows me to see what Google searches lead to hits on this blog blog and last night during the game, TVMWW got over 3,000 hits from just people searching for pictures of Steelers coach Mike Tomlin and his doppelganger Omar Epps. I had written about them a few months ago when discussing my wife's affinity for huge black men who look and act nothing like me. Here is said pic.

Fellow bloggers: put this picture on your blog blog and the hits will flow!

So I guess now I have to take advantage of all this attention. Check in tomorrow for my review of The Bach and more mindless drivel from someone who talks almost as much as his mother (who may or may not live in a well).

Also, reminder that TV My Wife Watches is now on Facebook and Twitter. You should go and "click like" that isht.

And another reminder that Buffalo chicken dip straight-up dominates. Here are some vids.


  1. Buffalo chicken dip recipe please.

  2. Have you ever tried Hot Wing Soup? My Japanese-American friend calls it "lihquid chihcken wihng" and you can get knee-deep in that sh*t. Wife Swap? I mean, Recipe Swap?

  3. Buffalo chicken recipe: 2 things of cream cheese, 1/2 cup of bleu cheese, 1/2 cup of hot sauce, as much actual bleu cheese and chicken as you want.

    Soften the cream cheese, mix it all up, bake at 350 for a half hour ... indulge with some sort of bread product, fall asleep within 10 minutes.

  4. Never had hot wing soup nor have I swapped wives. Gabber, I would expect blood stains over your doorway courtesy of my wife in the next 24 - 36 hours.

  5. What's most disturbing, if that if I ever do chose to commit a crime...the prosecution will be able to use this blog to help convict me.