Thursday, February 3, 2011

American Idol, Top Chef and a College Basketball Bonanza

Don't get excited, there is VERY little J-Lo and Idol talk in this post.

The Cleveland Cavaliers have lost 22 straight games. And for the past 22 straight nights I have lost control of my remote.

So when I saw yesterday that UConn-Syracuse, Nova-Marquette, Duke-Maryland (my alma mater) and Mizzou-Oklahoma State were going head to head with American Idol and Top Chef, I needed to put my foot down. I told my wife that I "kinda sorta, would like to maybe, uh, watch a little college basketball tonight during commercials?"

And she said fine!

Now, I have painted a picture of my wife as being a terrifying woman (and she is!), but she can also be incredibly kind, generous, understanding and agreeable, ESPECIALLY if I make dinner and clean up (which I did last night, LIKE A BOSS). Occasionally she'll even leave her switch blade upstairs (but still somehow seems to be able to find a shank when she needs one). She is also a pretty big sports fan, more-so the NBA, baseball, tennis and the Olympics, but can be convinced to watch anything. Her college basketball experiences have been limited though, you see, she went to Brandeis, which doesn't quite have the hoops culture of Maryland, but has almost as many Jews.  

Brandeis basketball ... I actually had a pair of those Cons. They were amazing.

Also, this wouldn't be an issue if my wife would agree to have a second TV in the house, but she refuses. She comes from one of those intellectual families that reads the New York Times and does homework and raises their children to be knife wielding maniacs and I respect that, because my parents too read the New York Times, only they read it while watching television in separate rooms and may or may not have had a conversation in the past seventeen years.

Suffice it to say, I was REALLY excited to see Missouri's 40 minutes of pressure defense and UConn's Kemba Walker and Duke's three point snipers and as I type this I realize that NONE OF MY READERS CARE about college basketball and it was SO DUMB to start a blog called TV My Wife Watches. Why didn't I just start a blog called Sports That I Watch?!?!! That would've been a pretty good idea, Ev! I mean, really, would it have been that hard to find the domain name, Sports That I Watch Dot Blogspot Dot Com? How bout ESPN Blogspot Dot Com? Or Anything Besides TV My Wife Watches Dot Blobspots Dots Coms?!?!

However, seeing that my blog followers are 90% women and I'm 100% whipped, let's just talk about American Idol and Top Chef and call it a day.

Idol was great, it's always great. I have nothing else to say. I friggin' love that show, love the new judges, love my wife, love reality television, and can't believe how absolutely bonkers beautiful J-Lo is. That cowboy kid was fantastic and even though that community college lovebird couple seemed REALLY annoying, that little kid sounded like friggin' Harry Connick Joons. Also, are you ready for this, I think Ryan Seacrest is funny and I kinda like him.

Yep, I said it. The guy has a good personality and was fantastic in his cameo role in Knocked Up. I've heard a lot of people say, "I think he's just really good at what he does," blah blah blah, but the bottom line is that he's a funny dude, doesn't take himself too seriously and probably has televisions in every room of his house.

This guy is not mentioned ONCE in this blog. How is that possible?!?!

Top Chef was also good. Kinda sad to see Tre go home, I always liked The Black Italian. I was actually hoping Dale would be sent packing, I think he's a jerk. He's always freaking out and barking at people and when he does his little confessional interviews, he sits back with his arms folded like a sulky kid who isn't allowed to have a television in his bedroom.

But no one is worse than Angelo. It's gotten to the point where everything he does annoys me; his mannerisms, the way he grates pepper, the way he doesn't get back on defense and refuses to dive on the floor for loose balls. Also, whenever he presents his dish, he always says something like, "Here I have a beautiful lamb shank, with some gorgeous lamb balls," always feeling the need to talk up his food. He's the ultimate Top Chef villain. I wonder if he slept with Carlos Boozer?

Lastly, kinda cool that all the slick Italians at Rao's knew Tom Colicchio and Anthony Bourdain and Lorraine Bracco. Even cooler to hear Lorrain Bracs tell the story about how Martin Scorsese's mom made all the food on set for the cast and crew of Good Fellas. I roasted a chicken last night that I bought at Acme and it was terrible. But I did totally see Mason Plumlee ram on some dude's neck. That dude is a beast.


  1. Ev, Dale sucks. True story, I saw Angelo outside of Continental in Old City while I was running. He was with Kevin Sbraga(?) who I actually like, so I went up to them and made them both shake my sweaty hand. I was also wearing spandex. Kevin was super cool and Angelo was totally weirded out, probably because he likes Crocodile skin clothing and is actually gay.

  2. Oh and I was watching a cooking show, saw this, and thought it might alleviate some of your marital discord. Since you can't just use bagged popcorn like a normal person.

  3. I can't believe I own zero pieces of spandex attire. I need to get some of those. THEY'RE SO SLEEK!

  4. ev as a loyal reader i tend to agree w you, however youre off on the angelo comment. dude is the man and will take either first or second. also id rather see a highlight video of eric montross making layups the anything of plumlee...hes a bum. i do like homemade popcorn though.

  5. You clearly didn't watch that video ... he dunked three balls!

    Not an innuendo!