|Shoulda worn goggles.|
We've seen gross stuff on television before. We've seen people eating crickets on Fear Factor, we've seen hoarders living in filth, we've seen Kelly Ripa's clavicle, but never before has television shown us a live baby completely shit all over the place.
|Your daughter is right to look at you like that, Kelly Ripa.|
Well, thanks to The Real Housewives of Atlanta and Phaedra deciding to have a photo shoot with her naked baby and his little muffin ass, I have now seen what it looks like when a baby completely and totally shits all over the place. It was like a Gallagher show. The most amazing thing that Bravo decided to show (besides a baby's ass exploding) was the shot of Phaedra actually holding her hand under her baby's ass while shit (I believe it was shit, I don't have DVR and didn't have the opportunity to rewind it, but I'm pretty sure it was shit) was HANGING out of Aiden's butt. This shocking sight was trumped only seconds later by Phaedra cleaning off her shit-covered hands with a NAPKIN. I mean, I understand that Aiden's little baby shit is probably some of the cleanest shit out there, but Phaedra, SHOULDN'T YOU FIND A SINK?!?! ... How about one of those industrial sinks that are only found in high school art classrooms with water color brushes everywhere? Couldn't she find one of those?!?! ... Let's move on to some other baffling stuff that this show had to offer.
Kim's lesbian girlfriend, Tracy. All right, let me just start by saying that I am VERY lesbian friendly. In fact, I have always gotten along extremely well with lesbians (and I'm talking all types of lesbians, from softball players to democrats) and I feel the need to preface this because I'm about to make fun of a lesbian and anytime one makes fun of a minority it is imperative that they make it clear that they like have no problems with said minority. But Kim's lesbian girlfriend Tracy definitely has something wrong with her, right? I can't tell; she's either retarded, constantly drunk, foreign or has a speech impediment, or she may be completely and totally deaf, it's very confusing. But clearly there is SOMETHING wrong with her speech patterns. If she is in fact deaf or retarded or has any other physical ailment, then I certainly feel for her, but it would certainly explain a lot about this relationship and one's attraction to Kim. That being said, she's probably a lovely person and has an innate ability to turn a double play.
|I'm always amazed at how cool athletes' signatures are.|
When did I become so judgmental?!?! And since when has "judgmental" been spelled without an "e" after the "g"?
|These ladies love chicks with guns.|
- Kim's voice coach is AMAZING at her job, because Kim is a HORRIFIC singer and if they are able to make a hit out of this "Ring Didn't Mean a Thing" song, then I am hiring a musical coach STAT and recording some songs for my debut album, "The Monn: Unloaded." Actually, in case you didn't know, I did actually once release an album (cover) a few years ago without any songs on it. I sold zero copies.
|Just laying back in the cut.|
- HOWEVER, I totally understand Peter's reaction towards Nene when she called Cynthia and asked to speak to Peter to see if he had a problem with her. Long story short, Peter was having a rough day(s) and when he saw Nene at an event, he was not his normal friendly self. Nene, who was also having a rough day(s) was frustrated at this and later called Peter to see if there was a problem. Peter was so put off to having to deal with this ridiculous phone call that he was very curt with Nene and unfortunately added fuel to the fire to where a non-issue has now become an issue.
This was a classic male-female confrontation that could easily have been avoided by either having a woman CALM THE FREEPS'D DOWN or having a male handle the situation by just smiling and nodding and saying the right things.
|I always loved these two!|
Overall ruling: Nene was wrong to be so aggressive and Peter was wrong to fire back with even more venom. Also, as a grey-bearded fox who has undoubtedly been with a woman before, Peter should be more seasoned in the ways of dealing with a crazy person and should have just taken that battle on the chin and lived to fight another day. Judge Judy rules in favor of Nene, who is still my favorite person in the world.
Judge Judy ... softball player?
Hard to tell.