|Did their son just get Bar Mitzvahed?|
If you devote ten weeks of your life to anything, you should get results. If you work out for ten weeks, you should become more fit. If you practice doing The Robot, you should get more chicks. For me, after joining my wife on the couch for the last ten Mondays, I now refer to the Pasodoble as the "Paso." I also have about four or five friends who have lost their last iotas of respect for me even though I could've sworn this happened about twelve years ago when I admitted to them that I thoroughly enjoy wearing long underwear. Also, I have a new-found respect for Tom Bergeron and have vaulted him to the status of The Second Funniest Person In Showbiz behind Pat Sajak. To be quite honest, I find Sajak absolutely hilarious and have no idea why his talk show was not a smashing success.
Who else went through transformations? Well I'm glad you asked!
And why am I talking to myself? No one asked anything. I asked myself that stupid question and only because I couldn't think of a transition to my next paragraph. Also, I'm not even sure why I'm still typing right now. Just get on with it. There I go talking to myself again. Please punch me square in the eyeballs.
|Alfred E. Neuman Jr.|
The Pistol: Along with displaying the ability to cause drunk dudes to blast-out their TV screens with a shotgun, I think Bristol took great strides towards developing a pulse. I look forward to
Brandy: If Brandy's
What the freak am I talking about?!?! That last sentence made absolutely no sense. I gotta be honest, the only reason I'm writing anything right now is because I got more hits on this stupid blog than ever before this past week and just wanted to pounce on whatever glimmer of popularity that this Kashi Go Lean of a blog has right now by putting out a post before Monday morning. It's 9:33pm on Sunday night and all I want to do is watch Peyton Manning so expect this blog post to end SOON.
|The ONLY acceptable way to eat Kashi Go Lean.|
The Situation: Not sure what Sitch's next move will be. I've been seeing a lot of him recently peddling some energy drink on the sidebar of my Hotmail inbox. I also noticed that he graced the cover of Dude's Fitness Magazine, a publication notorious for encouraging steroid use. I'm thinking by 2016, Sitch's testicles will have shrunk to the size of Grape Nuts and he will be forced to wear long underwear in an attempt to make them seem
Margaret Cho, Michael Bolton and The Hoff: The only three "stars" with actual careers should be fine. Although I do worry for Hoff's testicles as well.
|32 new martial arts training moves!|
Florence Henderson: I'm excited for her to live out her remaining years having sex with old dudes. Although I do worry for their testicles too.
Yep, it's time to end this.
Dancing With the Stizzies, I'll see you next season.
Now I'm talking to a TV Show? That doesn't make ANY sense. It's a TV show. It can't hear me, understand me; it can't read a blog and there is NO REASON to be talking or writing or communicating with it. Also, Real Housewives of Atlanta is about to start. I'm out!
And yes I'm aware that I left out Audrina. That lady was a snooze.
Miley Cyrus though, definitely not a snooze.